Tom

Relative Acceptance

Tom experience less public oppression in Thai society than do masculine females and trans men in much of the world, and their gender identities [Page 834]and sexual relationships are not criminalized. Since the 1980s, tom have been visible in Thai popular culture, particularly in pop music, where tom singers have developed an enthusiastic fan base. The first movie with a tom lead was the highly popular 2010 romantic comedy Yes or No. Thai tom are also social media celebrities, with followers across Asia. Apart from these elite examples, tom can be found in most spheres of Thai society, including working in stores and as bouncers in the sex trade.

Tom gender presentation reflects different Thai models of masculinity, often in step with international influences and consumer culture. Bangkok has shops catering to the tom market, and since the 2000s, binders have been available from Thai vendors and Asian mail-order businesses. Central Thailand has abundant plastic surgery clinics, and some tom with means opt for top surgery. There is also a slick, widely sold tom lifestyle magazine, @tom, pitched to middle- and upper-class readers. With the rise of the K-pop phenomenon, a subset of tom dress (and dance) like male K-pop stars, which is considered a more androgynous style.

Despite their relative acceptance compared with most other societies, tom’s social location is more complex than their casual public presence suggests. Linguistically, while everyday spoken Thai commonly uses gender-neutral pronouns and allows a great deal of queer verbal play in formal and official situations, Thai requires speakers to use a male or female particle and often gendered first, second, and third pronouns, which render tom feminine. Thai authorities in the 20th century adopted Western psychological categories that labeled tom as sexual deviants. Even as this pathologizing view has eroded, tom still face constraint and harassment in their communities, including, in some cases, pressure to adopt feminine styles and marry a man. Schools, government jobs, and many businesses have had gendered dress codes based on legal sex. Because of these sartorial restrictions, tom often gravitate toward jobs that do not require skirts and pantyhose, such as working in small businesses. Tom cannot be ordained as monks, a highly respected role in Thai Buddhism.

Thai Gender Systems

Historically, the Thai sex/gender system recognized three categories: male, female, and kathoey—a Thai label for trans women or “lady boys.” Until the late 20th century, non-LGBTQ+ people, especially older people, described tom as kathoey. But the term tom has since entered the Thai lexicon as its own identity.

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