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Communication Styles
Communication styles are categories and explanations of the way people speak to and interact with one another. Because communication is the core of the counseling profession, it is important for counselors and other mental health professionals to have a strong understanding of their own communication style as well as those of their clients. Understanding the different styles of communication helps counselors to better understand their clients and their presenting concerns. Counselors can also help clients adjust their communication style and move toward achieving their therapeutic goals. It can be easy for a counselor to practice through the lens of the Western culture, assuming certain communication styles are more or less favorable; however, preferred or common communication styles differ depending on one’s culture. Counselors with insight into communication styles can better assist a broad range of diverse clients. This entry discusses the four basic styles of communication, provides cultural examples, and presents applicable therapeutic interventions.
The Four Basic Styles of Communication
Although other subsets of communication have been proposed, there are four commonly recognized styles of communication: assertive, aggressive, passive, and passive–aggressive. As diverse cultural and social groups value different traits, each style of communication may or may not fit the expectations of the client’s culture. Counselors may engage with clients to find new ways of communicating with their family, community, and peers to achieve their therapeutic goals.
Assertive Communication
Assertive communication occurs when an individual clearly communicates their wants and needs in a direct and confident manner. In doing this, individuals advocate for themselves in a way that allows them to take responsibility for their thoughts and feelings. Assertive communicators stand up for themselves and have well-established and healthy boundaries with others. Assertive communicators use nonverbal cues like direct eye contact, relaxed posture, and head nodding to suggest attentiveness. In conversation with others, assertive communicators tend to use active listening and refrain from interrupting others. Western cultures encourage assertive communication, generally, but especially for men. Women may be criticized for utilizing assertive communication or considered bossy or overbearing. Likewise, in some non-Western cultures, assertive communication is considered too direct or abrasive.
When faced with conflict, assertive communicators tend to provide all of the information available to them and make a decision rather than avoid the conflict. For example, if an assertive communicator were asked to cover a shift at work but already had plans at that time, they may say “I would love to be able to help you out, but I already made plans for that time.” The assertive communicator expresses their thoughts and feelings in a way that is direct, honest, and respectful that can help to maintain a healthy relationship with those around them even when conflict occurs.
Aggressive Communication
Aggressive communication occurs when an individual speaks in a hostile, loud, or domineering manner. Aggressive communicators may be perceived as threatening, engaging in name-calling, or blaming others. Such communicators may also fail to take responsibility for their thoughts and feelings and inappropriately place the responsibility upon others. Aggressive communicators can be overbearing and may violate the boundaries of others, making them feel disrespected and not valued. Those who utilize aggressive communication tend to have poor relationships with others, and those relationships that they do have are often conflictual in nature. Aggressive communicators utilize nonverbal cues such as intense eye contact, tense forward posture, and finger pointing. In conversation with others, aggressive communicators tend to be dismissive of what others have to say and interrupt others frequently. Typically, in Western cultures, aggressive communication is accepted in males but discouraged in females.
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