Deception

Motivations for Lying

Deception appears to emerge early in the preschool years, between 2 and 4 years, as a normal aspect of development. Early deceptions tend to be unsophisticated, often readily detected with some probing, and are generally self-protective in nature—that is, not intended to harm others. These first lies appear to be motivated by the desire to avoid punishment or negative consequences and to promote self-interest, such as to obtain a reward or benefit (e.g., a cookie from a forbidden cookie jar) and later by a desire for social rewards (e.g., self-presentation lies). Children tell lies for self-serving purposes, and they tell lies that have more prosocial motivations and that are told to primarily benefit others. For example, after receiving a disappointing birthday gift, children may lie and tell the gift giver that they really like the gift. Although such lies may initially be told for self-protection and to reduce harm to themselves, with age, children are more likely to be concerned about the feelings and needs of others and to tell lies that reduce harm to others including politeness lies, loyalty lies, and altruistic lies. It is not until middle and late childhood that children begin to tell lies for others when there may be a true cost to themselves. Yet, overall prosocial lies, compared to self-interested lies, are told less frequently by children and adults. Thus, with age, children’s lie-telling behavior develops to include a broader array of motivations, and their deception becomes more sophisticated.

[Page 538]As children mature into adolescence, the lies they tell are more likely to conceal activities and details of their lives that they feel should be private or of which their parents would disapprove. Adolescents and parents often disagree about the scope of “personal” decisions, such as choices regarding friends or types of activities. Adolescents are more likely than younger children to conceal and lie about these types of behaviors to their parents. For example, an adolescent may lie about being chaperoned at a concert he or she is going to with his or her friends; lie about spending time with friends of whom their parents do not approve; or lie about smoking, drinking, or other prohibited behaviors. In this way, the lie content seems to change with age, but the ulterior motivations remain the same. Broadly, these motivations range from self-interest to lies told for the benefit of others.

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