Teasing

Definition

A first question may be the most basic and most elusive to answer: What is teasing? Empirical studies of teasing lead to the following definition: Teasing is a behavior designed to provoke a target through the use of playful commentary on something relevant to the target. This provocation can be verbal (a cutting remark) or physical (an embarrassing gesture) and, by definition, threatens the teaser's and the target's desired social identity, or what some call “face.” If the tease is too harsh, the target risks embarrassment or hurt feelings, and the teaser risks looking overly aggressive. To minimize these risks, teases are often accompanied by playful behaviors designed to signal that the tease is not meant to be taken too literally and that it is delivered, in part, in the spirit of play. Some examples of these behaviors, called off-record markers, include using a singsong voice, exaggerated facial expressions, metaphors, and unusual speed of delivery. Lastly, the tease is directed at something relevant to the target: either a commentary on the target himself or herself, the relationship between the target and the teaser, or some object of interest to the target. This definition helps clarify the differences between teasing and other related behaviors. The most common of these is bullying, which is a direct act of hostility that lacks the playful markers that signal playful, even affectionate, intent.

Occurrence

Equipped with a working definition of teasing, a second question can be asked: When do people tease? Observational studies in which researchers have documented the occurrence of teasing in naturalistic contexts, for example, in family dinner conversations or at work, reveal that teasing usually occurs in response to two kinds of social disturbances: norm deviations and interpersonal conflicts. First, individuals often tease others who have violated social norms. Elementary school children have been observed teasing each other for playing with classmates of the opposite sex or following violations of gender norms. Parents sometimes tease their children when they sulk or act selfishly. Coworkers tease one another in response to violations of the ethics and standards of the workplace.

Teasing often arises in a second context of social tension: conflict. Studies have indicated that siblings tease each other more during conflict situations, friends are more likely to tease each other during discussions of their conflicting goals and beliefs, and coworkers are more likely to tease when addressing [Page 970]hot-button issues, such as allocation of office space. Provocative and at times unpleasant, teasing in fact serves important prosocial functions, enabling individuals to signal and negotiate norm violations and interpersonal conflict.

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