Romantic Love

Definition

People generally understand love by its resemblance to a prototype, which means a standard model or idea (as one would recognize a bird by its resemblance to a robin). The protoypical features of love encompass, in order of centrality, intimacy, commitment, and passion. Scientists, by contrast, define love in a more formal way—for example, as the constellation of behaviors, cognitions, and emotions associated with a desire to enter or maintain a close relationship with a specific other person.

Much research on love has focused on types of love, including distinguishing romantic love from more general kinds of love, such as familial love or compassionate love for strangers. Romantic love, which is associated with dependence, caring, and exclusiveness, is also distinguished from liking, which emphasizes similarity, respect, and positive evaluation. Moreover, passionate love (the fervent desire for connection with a particular other person) is also distinguished from companionate love (the warm feelings one has for people with whom one's life is interconnected). Items on the standard research measure of passionate love focus on such things as wanting to be with this person more than with anyone else, and melting when looking into this person's eyes. A similar distinction is between those whom one “loves” and the subset of these with whom one is “in love.”

Another well-researched approach identifies six love styles: eros (romantic, passionate love), ludus (game playing love), storge (friendship love), pragma (logical, “shopping-list” love), mania (possessive, dependent love), and agape (selfless love). Yet another influential approach, the triangular theory, conceptualizes love in terms of intimacy, commitment/decision, and passion, the various combinations of which define diverse types of romantic love.

Biological Basis

Biological research suggests that birds and mammals evolved several distinct brain systems for courtship, mating, and parenting, including (a) the sex drive, characterized by a craving for sexual gratification; (b) attraction, characterized by focused attention on a preferred mating partner; and (c) attachment, characterized by the maintenance of proximity, affiliative gestures and expressions of calm when in social contact with a mating partner, and separation anxiety when apart. Each neural system is associated with a different constellation of brain circuits, different behavior patterns, and different emotional and motivational states. With regard to human love, one can equate “attraction” with passionate love and “attachment” with companionate love. Recent studies using functional magnetic resonance imaging of the brain indicate that these three neural systems are distinct yet interrelated.

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