Loneliness

Definition

Loneliness is defined as the distressing experience that occurs when one's social relationships are perceived to be less in quantity, and especially in quality, than desired. Being alone and experiencing loneliness are not the same thing. People can be alone without feeling lonely and can feel lonely even when with other people. Loneliness is associated with depressive symptoms, poor social support, neuroticism, and introversion, but loneliness is not synonymous with these psychological characteristics. Loneliness is typically thought of as a stable trait, with individual differences in the set-point for feelings of loneliness about which people fluctuate depending on the specific circumstances in which they find themselves. Loneliness changes very little during adulthood until 75 to 80 years of age when it increases somewhat. Loneliness puts people at risk for mental and physical disease and may contribute to a shortened life span.

History and Theory

Although loneliness has always been part of human existence, it has a relatively short psychological history. John Bowlby's attachment theory emphasized the importance of a good attachment bond between the infant and caregiver, and this theory was a forerunner to theories of loneliness. From this perspective, loneliness is the result of insecure attachment patterns that lead children to behave in ways that result in being rejected by their peers. Rejection experiences hinder the development of social skills and increase distrust of other people, thereby fostering ongoing loneliness.

Attachment theory formed a foundation for an influential psychological theory of loneliness developed by Robert S. Weiss. Weiss identified six functions or needs of social relationships that, if in short supply, contribute to feelings of loneliness. These needs are attachment, social integration, nurturance, reassurance of worth, sense of reliable alliance, and guidance in stressful situations. Weiss went on to distinguish loneliness from social isolation (e.g., a lack of social integration) and loneliness from emotional isolation (e.g., the absence of a reliable attachment figure). As would be predicted by attachment theory, Weiss maintained that friendships complement but do not [Page 533]substitute for a close, intimate relationship with a partner in staving off loneliness. Widows who remarry have been found to escape from loneliness, but those who merely have other friends still feel somewhat lonely about not having a husband.

Another theoretical perspective holds that loneliness is characterized by personality traits that are associated with, and possibly contribute to, harmful interpersonal behavioral patterns. For instance, loneliness is correlated with social anxiety, social inhibition (shyness), sadness, hostility, distrust, and low selfesteem, characteristics that hamper one's ability to interact in skillful and rewarding ways. Indeed, lonely individuals have been shown to have difficulty forming and maintaining meaningful relationships. They are also less likely to self-disclose to peers, and this helps to explain why they report a lack of intimacy with close friends.

The cognitive approach to loneliness is based on the fact that loneliness is characterized by distinct differences in perceptions and attributions. Lonely individuals tend to look at their world through dark-tinted glasses: They are more negative than are nonlonely individuals about the people, events, and circumstances in their world, and they tend to blame themselves for not being able to achieve satisfactory social relationships. The “perceived discrepancy” definition of loneliness provided previously represents the cognitive perspective. In addition, the cognitive approach largely takes account of the attachment and behavioral perspectives by explaining how (a) failure to meet the need for attachment, social integration, nurturance, and other social needs, results in perceived relationship discrepancies that are experienced as loneliness, and (b) loneliness is perpetuated by way of a selffulfilling prophecy in which poor social skills result in unsatisfactory personal relationships that, in turn, result in negative self-attributions that lead to further social isolation and relationship dissatisfaction.

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