Premarital Sex

Premarital sex refers to sexual interaction between heterosexual men and women prior to marriage. Many scholars chart changes in both attitudes and behavior related to premarital sex to explore the connection between this issue and social problems, such as divorce and the spread of sexually transmitted diseases. Given the interconnectedness of sexual behavior and other important aspects of society, every society has guidelines for single men and women for what is permissible sexual behavior. Considerable cross-cultural variation exists in what is deemed acceptable sexual contact before marriage. Attitudes and behavior related to premarital sex also differ by race, social class, gender, religion, age, and historical time period. In many Western societies, prior to the 20th century, sexual activity before marriage was not socially acceptable. Communities and families both played a role in monitoring the sexual behavior of unmarried persons to ensure that a child was not born out of wedlock. In addition to the practical consideration of avoiding pregnancy, many religions strictly regulated sexual interaction among unmarried men and women. Despite the continued influence of organized religion, premarital sex changed from being forbidden to becoming the norm by the latter part of the 20th century.

Throughout the 20th century in the United States, there have been different rules for men and women with regard to sex before marriage. In the first half of the 20th century, the ideal was for both men and women to wait until marriage to have sex. However, men had more freedom to flout society's rules; as a result, men were free to engage in sexual relations with prostitutes or other disreputable women. Society expected women, on the other hand, to remain virgins until their wedding night or risk ruining their reputations and chances of securing a husband. This sexual double standard governed the sexual behavior of single men and women, affecting what they were willing to do sexually, whom they would have a sexual relationship with, and the roles they would play during a sexual encounter. Typically, men would play the aggressor role by initiating sexual advances, and women would play the “gatekeeper” role by deciding how much they would allow a sexual encounter to escalate.

Over time, attitudes and behaviors related to premarital sex began to change. These changes were brought about by other changes in society. In the 1920s, dating replaced traditional courtship as the primary means for young men and women to interact. Unlike traditional courtship, dating took place in the public sphere, away from close parental supervision. This change, along with more young people moving to cities and attending college, allowed for a greater degree of sexual activity prior to marriage. The sexual norms for the dating era included kissing, necking, and petting; however, oral sex and sexual intercourse were still off limits. Despite these standards, Alfred Kinsey's mid-20th-century reports on male and female sexual behavior shocked Americans by suggesting that many were not living up to this ideal. Although Kinsey's study was not representative, his data indicated that more than half of women lost their virginity prior to marriage.

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