Death and Bereavement

Children's Understanding of Death from a Developmental Perspective

Chronological age, cognitive and socioemotional development, culture, and experiences all influence a child's understanding of death. Important concepts in understanding a child's view of death include:

• Universality (All living things die.)
• Irreversibility (A physically dead body cannot live again.)
• Nonfunctionality (All physical functions cease.)
• Causality (There is abstract and realistic understanding of the external and internal events that lead to death.)
• Noncorporeal continuation (Some form of personal continuation exists after death of physical body.)

Early studies indicated younger children (ages 5 and younger) did not understand the finality of death and felt death could be avoided (Nagy, 1948), but children frequently encounter death in nature, such as a dead bird, and can understand the finality of it (Bowlby, 1980). A more mature understanding of death solidifies with the typical 10-year-old child.

Further research into children's understanding of the conceptualization of death has used Piaget's stages of cognitive development. During the concrete operational stage (ages 7 to 10 years) children develop a more adult understanding of death, and by the formal operational stage (beginning at ages 11 to 12 years) they are likely to understand the abstract ideas that characterize death.

Children's Bereavement from a Developmental Perspective

Children's understanding of death, family, and cultural influences, family stability, personal characteristics, relationship with the deceased, and the circumstances of the death affect the bereavement process. There is no specific model that targets the bereavement process based on child development, although theories of Freud, Piaget, and Erikson are evident in discussions of a child's ability to grieve, to understand the finality of death, or to create an identity after the death of a parent.

Some question very young children's ability to grieve. Because a child does not understand the finality of death, grieving would not be possible. Most thanatologists (those who engage in the scientific study of death) agree that children can grieve, at least as an experience of separation, as infants or as toddlers (Bowlby, 1980). These grief reactions to loss may not constitute true understanding of death's finality and may not be viewed as true mournin g—the conscious and unconscious work done in coping with the loss of a loved one and the public expression of that loss.

Little research exists to delineate age-related children's bereavement reactions, although clinical observations suggest that children up to five years of age often show anxiety or aggressive behaviors. Sleep disturbances, temper tantrums, aggressive play, and regression, including elimination problems, may be expected. Elementary school–age children may deny death or the resultant emotions, assume a caretaker role, experience excessive guilt, and develop phobic or somatic symptoms. Adolescents are more likely to become depressed and withdrawn; to escape through acting-out behaviors such as promiscuity, increased chemical use, or risk-taking behaviors; to assume a caretaker role; to struggle with the philosophical meaning of death; or to be preoccuped with guilt. These are possible but not the most likely behaviors exhibited during bereavement. These behaviors are evident as a result of premorbid functioning and the severity of the loss.

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