Personal Relationships and Obesity

Decades of research have documented the ways in which personal relationships, including family ties, friendships, and romantic relationships, can be beneficial to health and well-being. Social networks [Page 590]can provide companionship, foster self-acceptance and esteem, give help and support in times of need, and motivate people to be their best. However, personal relationships can also be sources of negativity through strain, conflict, increased obligations, criticism, and rejection. One may question whether obesity makes any difference in personal relationships. That is, whether obese people have as many personal relationships as others; whether their relationships serve the same functions; whether these relationships are likely to be of higher, lower, or similar quality; and whether any of these factors change from childhood and adulthood.

Relationship Quantity and Formation

There is some evidence that obese people have fewer personal relationships compared to people who are not obese. This difference tends to emerge in childhood when obese children have greater difficulty making friends and are likely to be less popular, are lonelier, and even endure victimization by other children through teasing and bullying. Negative treatment from peers often continues through adolescence, a time when self-consciousness increases along with the perceived importance of conformity and peer acceptance. While many teenagers develop resilience and strategies to buffer themselves, teasing and rejection by peers can contribute to body dissatisfaction and unhealthy weight control practices can occur, such as taking diet pills and symptoms of eating disorders. There is some evidence that the relative dearth in friendships improves as adolescents age.

Overweight adolescents are less likely to participate in romantic relationships and dating activities in part because of the large emphasis on physical attractiveness. This difference is most pronounced for obese young women, who often begin dating at an older age and date less frequently. Obese individuals are somewhat less likely to marry and tend to do so later in life. There is also evidence that obese adults are more likely to marry other adults who are heavy.

Family relationships, including bonds with parents, siblings, and extended family members, vary less with weight status. There is great social pressure to maintain family ties out of obligation, even if they can be a source of conflict and negativity. However, because there is a strong genetic component to obesity, and because family members typically live in the same environment, family members are often obese themselves, and may be especially sympathetic and supportive. Even so, family members also have the widest latitude and may be the sources of damaging negativity. Family ties, and especially parents, influence psychological development, shape patterns of interaction with others, and contribute to the development of exercise and eating habits.

Relationship Functioning and Quality

There is some evidence that obese children and adults may have weaker, antagonistic, lower quality friendships. Stereotypes about obese people may contribute to negative interactions with peers, but peers' negative expectations can actually lead obese individuals to communicate less effectively, thus inadvertently confirming the negative expectation. Internalizing criticism, teasing, and negativity from peers helps to explain why overweight is associated with poorer psychological well-being. Stigmatizing experiences early in life can lead obese youth and young adults to distance themselves from social interactions. Obese individuals may come to expect rejection and become less willing to take risks on new relationships. Even so, most obese people find sympathetic friends who can provide companionship and help buffer against negative interactions, although the overall numbers may be smaller.

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