Intensive Mothering

Intensive mothering is fundamental to societies in which a patriarchal ideology of motherhood is dominant. According to Sharon Hays, who coined the term in her influential 1996 book The Cultural Contradictions of Motherhood, intensive mothering began in the 1980s with the purpose of re-domesticating women through motherhood at a time when more women in North America were becoming educated and entering the labor force. Intensive mothering developed alongside the inundation of media with maternal advice, programming and marketing, and as motherhood became one of the biggest media preoccupations from the mid-1980s to the first decade of the 21st century. As such, intensive mothering is viewed by much of the mainstream as the most appropriate model for good mothering.

Intensive mothering rests on at least four core beliefs: (1) children need and require constant and ongoing nurturing by their biological mothers, who are primarily responsible for meeting these needs; (2) mothers must rely on experts to guide them in meeting their children's needs; (3) mothers must spend large amounts of time and energy on their children; and (4) mothers must regard mothering as more important than paid work. The cultural expectation that women will mother their children intensively specifies that the well-being of children is primarily their mother's responsibility, whether or not their children's fathers are present, employed, or considered to be equal participants of household and child-rearing tasks. As a result, all women across ethnic, race, religious and class lines, as well as at-home and employed mothers, are influenced by expectations of intensive mothering. However, not all mothers practice it.

Intensive mothering requires that mothers are available for their children on a daily basis and commit their emotional, mental and psychic energy to their offspring. Since her child's mental, physical, spiritual, emotional and intellectual growth and development is her primary responsibility, the good mother must rely on the expert opinions and guidance of professional child specialists, as well as carefully select, inspect, and consider the safety of toy and food products; and be available as a counselor, health care provider, dietitian, and teacher.