Cybermothering

The Expert Antidote

The advent of cybermothering has been identified as an antidote to traditional, “expert” parenting texts. Traditional guides on how to mother have been criticized for idealizing motherhood, and offering prescriptive guidance about how perfect mothers should behave. Expert texts on mothering have been identified by feminist scholars such as Jane Ribbens as a source of oppression for mothers. This is because such texts are argued to perpetuate notions that mothering should come naturally to women, failing to acknowledge that mothering can be tiring and challenging. Similarly, formal health advice offered by government agencies has been censured for failing to provide adequate information and support for new mothers, and for setting mothering standards that are argued to be impractical and oppressive.

By contrast, cybermothering has been defined as a source of empowerment for some mothers, partly because the Internet offers access to new and varied sources of support and information. As Caroline Gatrell has observed, cybermothering Websites and online discussion facilities enable the difficulties of pregnancy, and the sometimes problematic transition to motherhood, to be acknowledged.

In addition, cybermothering means that maternal correspondents can choose to remain anonymous, which allows mothers the freedom to share (sometimes negative) feelings and to express their parenting worries without fear of opprobrium from health visitors or other experts. Mothers are therefore more likely to seek reassurance online and talk about embarrassing issues than they might be in front of health professionals. Thus, as Clare Madge and Henrietta O'Connor have pointed out in their work on cybermothering, online discussion forums can allow participants the freedom to talk about motherhood away from the social gaze. Cybermothering is also seen as a positive way to reduce mothers' sense of isolation and feelings of loneliness when they are at home with infant, sick, or disabled children.

However, Madge and O'Connor have observed how mainstream commercial cybermothering Websites may be problematic in certain respects. For example, these writers note how mainstream Websites can perpetuate the conventional notion of mothers as heterosexual and in couple relationships. However, the growth of identity-based spaces, such as gay and minority ethnic communities, has been identified as a counter to traditional parenting and gender norms. It is also noted that impoverished women with no access to Internet facilities and/or without literacy skills cannot turn to the Internet for support.

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