Co-Parenting

Historical Context of Co-Parenting

The concept of the nuclear family was supported during the social and economic upheavals of 19th century industrialization, when the transition to wage labor separated the home and the workplace and encouraged gendered parenting roles. When the early women's rights movement changed the status of women and children, new laws allowed women the right to own property; children came to be seen as developing human beings rather than small adults. The common-law preference for fathers in custody disputes gave way in the late 19th century to a preference for mothers and for children of “tender years.”

The legal and social status of women and children again changed during the contemporary women's rights movement. The tender years preference gave way to a preference for gender-neutral custody decisions premised on “the best interests of the child” standard. The best interests of the child, in which mothers often received initial primary or sole custody, became the cornerstone of all state custody statutes beginning in the 1960s—at a time when children's rights became equated with their developmental needs in the areas of health, education, and welfare. The discourse of father's rights, which began to emerge in the 1970s, paved the way for co-parenting. Co-parenting statutes were implemented in the 1980s in response to the demands of fathers. Fathers' rights advocates argue that custody of children is a right of fatherhood, and that children benefit from the support of both parents after divorce.

Benefits of Co-Parenting

Divorce and separation reconfigure families. When parents engage in co-parenting, children can continue to experience the feelings of love and concern from both parents. Co-parenting can provide stability and continuity of contacts with kinship networks and a better option than sole custody, which left many fathers feeling disenfranchised and many mothers overwhelmed. Co-parenting provides built-in breaks from parenting so those involved have more time for themselves and new relationships.

Co-parenting can provide parents the flexibility to personalize their parenting plan so that it fits the family's unique situation. There is evidence that co-parents are more likely to comply with parenting plans they co-create rather than state-imposed plans. Continuing contact with the other co-parent can provide opportunities for ongoing positive interactions. Successful co-parenting requires commitment, which suggests that co-parents ought to be able to negotiate differences, prioritize and accommodate children's needs, maintain a reasonable level of communication and cooperation, be flexible, and respect the bond between their child and the other parent.

...