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Imagine a couple, Tony and Maria. Tony and Maria spend lots of time together, as many couples do, doing things together and sharing their victories and disappointments. But how do Tony and Maria affect each other's self-concepts? How will Tony feel when Maria wins a dance competition they both entered? Similarly, will it affect Maria's self-concept when Tony loses a fight? Self-concept shifts due to social comparison can either be contrastive (people's views of themselves become less similar to their views of the salient other; e.g., Tony compares himself to Maria and feels like a worse dancer because she is so good) or assimilative (people's views of themselves become more similar to the salient others; e.g., Tony feels like a better dancer when he thinks about how his girlfriend is a great dancer). In addition, they can either have positive effects (improved feelings about the self and/or about a relationship) or negative effects (diminished feelings about the self and/or a relationship). For example, if Maria is attractive, Tony can either compare himself to Maria and feel less attractive (a contrast effect with negative implications for the self) or incorporate her attractiveness to himself and feel more attractive (an assimilation effect with positive implications for the self). Similarly, if Maria is a bad dancer, Tony can either compare himself to Maria and feel like a better dancer (a contrast effect with positive implications for the self) or incorporate her dancing to himself and feel like a worse dancer (an assimilation effect with negative implications for the self). Factors that influence the directions and effects of social comparisons within close relationships are discussed in this entry. The broader implications of social comparison within and between close relationships are also discussed.

Direction and Effects of Social Comparisons in Close Relationships

Relationship Closeness

Within close relationships, a key variable influencing whether assimilation or contrast effects occur is the closeness of the relationship between the perceiver and the target. When the perceiver has a close, intimate relationship with the target, assimilation effects are likely; when the target is not close to the perceiver, contrast effects become more likely. For example, when evaluating their own performance on a novel task, people tend to assimilate the performance of a close friend, but contrast the performance of an acquaintance. Similarly, the self-concept of the perceiver can moderate these effects. When thinking about the self as interdependent or connected to others (e.g., I am a mom, a sister, a friend, a teammate), people tend to assimilate relationship partners. Conversely, when thinking about the self as independent or unique and different from others (e.g., I am smart, funny, unique, different from other people), people tend to contrast relationship partners.

Attachment Style

Although all people form relationships, they differ in their desire to pursue closeness within those relationships. Attachment theory accounts for these differences by asserting that individuals enter relationships with well-developed cognitive representations of the self and others. One dimension of the attachment behavioral system is avoidance. Individuals who are low in avoidance (hereafter referred to as nonavoidant) are comfortable with closeness and seek it in their relationships. Conversely, avoidant individuals are not comfortable with closeness and try to create mental and physical distance between themselves and their relationship partners. In addition, avoidant individuals are often involved in relationships that are low in interdependence and commitment. Thus, avoidant and nonavoidant individuals differ in their desire for, and comfort with, closeness in their relationships.

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