Sexuality

Importance of Involvement in an Intimate Relationship

For many people, sexuality is strongly linked to involvement in a romantic relationship. Most individuals are interested in becoming involved with a partner in a sexual relationship only when they believe they are in love and in a lasting intimate relationship with that partner. The need to be romantically and intimately involved is not true for everyone in all situations; some individuals engage in casual sex or in extramarital affairs. Yet quite a bit of evidence suggests that in general most people believe not only that love and sexuality are strongly linked but also that they should be linked. Many believe that intense feelings of love, respect, and devotion must develop within a relationship before a couple engages in sexual behavior.

In fact, research on the way that people think about being in love and being in a romantic relationship indicates that sexual passion and physical intimacy are important aspects of romantic love. Yet sexuality does not rank at the top of the list of qualities involved in romantic relationships. In most people's minds, feelings of emotional closeness, being understood, and valued are the most important attributes of romantic love. Sexual passion and desire for physical closeness, however, distinguish romantic love from love for family and friends.

Given the close association between sexuality and love in common thinking, the strong connection between emotional intimacy and sexual behavior in actual relationships is not at all unexpected. Feelings of shared love and commitment are identified by college students as the most important factors weighing in their decision to engage in sexual intercourse. Research in fact confirms that many couples do not engage in sexual behavior until their relationship reaches substantial levels of emotional intimacy and commitment.

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