Sexual Communication between Partners

Methodology

The study of sexual communication has involved the examination of various factors, including the frequency of discussion of sex-related topics, [Page 1456]degree of discomfort or apprehension in discussing sexuality, expression of preferences for certain sexual activities and techniques, self-disclosure of sexual history, and negotiation of contraceptive methods. Almost all research has relied on self-report, with that method's inherent shortcomings such as the possibility of deliberate deception, faulty memory, and distorted perception. For certain types of sexual communication such as discussions of safer sex, members of a couple do not agree about the amount of discussion that has occurred between them. Although much sexual communication is indirect or nonverbal, it is largely verbal communication that has been studied. In addition, for many couples, a great deal of communication occurs during the sex act itself, and this exchange of information has rarely been examined.

Function of Sexual Communication

Communication about sex plays a vital role in several aspects of a relationship, including the determination of interest in sexual activity, learning about the types of sexual activities that appeal to one's partner, the effectiveness of various methods of stimulation, and the minimizing of risk of pregnancy and infection. The strong relationship between sexual communication and sexual satisfaction is a consistent finding. Virtually every study that has examined this relationship has found these two relational aspects to be highly positively correlated. Both the frequency and the quality of sexual communication seem to be related to a satisfying sexual relationship. Lack of sexual communication or difficulties in communicating about sex are linked with sexual problems or dysfunction. In one study, the variable most predictive of overall sexual dissatisfaction was inhibited communication. In addition, sexual communication has been related to partners' satisfaction with control over aspects of their sexual relationship. Communication about sexuality is also related to general relationship satisfaction.

The relationship between sexual communication and sexual satisfaction appears to be due to several factors. First, greater communication about nonsexual issues predicts sexual satisfaction independently of sexual communication, so the correlation could, in part, be related to higher levels of overall communication. Also, both general communication and sexual communication lead to relationship satisfaction, which in turn leads to sexual satisfaction. Finally, and perhaps most obviously, communication about preferred activities directly leads to greater sexual satisfaction.

Predictors of Sexual Communication

Research is mixed with regard to whether men or women are more likely to talk about sex within a relationship, with some studies indicating that males are more likely to raise sexual issues and other studies indicating that females are the ones most likely to do so. It does appear that same-sex couples engage in more sexual communication than do mixed-sex couples. Factors that lead to greater sexual communication include a more positive emotional orientation toward sexuality (erotophilia), less traditional views of sex roles, less belief in the sexual double standard (the notion that casual or permissive sex is more acceptable for males than for females), less apprehension regarding communication in general, and less self-silencing (especially for women). In general, people who are more self-disclosing about other topics also tend to be more self-disclosing about sex. There is a positive relationship between the quality of general communication and the quality of sexual communication. Finally, some research has suggested that sexual communication is more likely within committed relationships.

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