Self-Concept and Relationships

Historical Background

In psychology, the link between the self-concept and relationships is a longstanding one, traceable to the 1890s in William James's theorizing on the self. James distinguished between the I-self, or the self as subject, whereas the me-self captures the self as object. James further delineated three components of the me-self—namely, the material me, social me, and spiritual me. A link between the self-concept and relationships can be found in the social me, which refers to aspects of the self that are associated with and experienced in relation to individuals and groups whose opinions are valued. In contemporary terms, individuals whose opinions are valued are essentially significant others, or people's close relationship partners, such as spouses, parents, close friends, boyfriends, or siblings or other relatives.

Subsequent to James's early writings, psychologists and other social scientists continued to theorize about the link between the self-concept and relationships. A key example is the work of symbolic interactionists, who believe that the person and society are mutually constructed in the course of social interaction. Charles Horton Cooley, a prominent early symbolic interactionist, coined the term looking-glass self to capture the idea that people's views of themselves are based on their perceptions of how others see them. To illustrate, Jane's views of herself as a singer are based on her perceptions of her family's and friends' responses to her singing. If her family and friends cheer her on at the local karaoke bar, encouraging her to sing another song, Jane may interpret these reactions as indicative of their favorable impressions of her singing abilities. Accordingly, she is likely to develop an image of herself as a talented singer. In the same vein, George Herbert Mead, another famous symbolic interactionist, argued that conceptions of the self emerge through perspective taking, whereby people take on the perspective of others on themselves. Finally, an important example outside of the symbolic interactionist tradition is the theorizing of Harry Stack Sullivan, who posited that encounters with significant others provide the forum for personality development and by implication, the formation of people's conceptions of themselves.

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