Security in Relationships

Attachment Theory

Attachment Theory, the most extensively articulated of the major relationship theories, posits that adult relationships are shaped by chronic, dispositional relationship orientations first developed in infancy with primary caregivers, or attachment figures. Attachment theorists contend that adult relationships in which romantic partners or significant others take on the attachment figure role are influenced by attitudes toward the self as well as expectations about the responsiveness of attachment figures in general. To continue the example, if Jenny, as an infant, was well cared for by a responsive, emotionally available parent, she is likely to have learned that attachment figures are available in times of need and that she is worthy of their support and love. Thus, it is likely that she will not be hesitant to turn to Rupert for support when she gets home from a stressful day at work.

Although many attachment theorists acknowledge that people may sometimes develop relationship-specific attachment styles, the theory takes a predominantly trait-like approach to felt security: It is assumed that if Jenny developed a secure (or insecure) attachment style early in life, that orientation will stay with her and strongly influence her adult relationship with Rupert and others.

According to Attachment Theory, a secure attachment style will develop only when the infant learns that attachment figures are emotionally available to them, that is, when they receive an affirmative answer to the question, “Will others be responsive?” If, instead, Jenny's experiences indicate that the answer is at least in part negative, attachment theorists predict that Jenny will turn to a coping strategy associated with one of two different insecure attachment styles characterized by a trait-like, chronic lack of felt security. These coping strategies are designed to provide optimal safety in the less than perfect circumstance of dealing with unresponsive attachment figures. The seriousness of concerns about partner responsiveness cues the individual to engage in one of two coping responses, hyperactivation or deactivation.

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