Respect

Respect is a concept referred to in many situations and viewed as important in various kinds of relationships. This entry defines respect and discusses the ways in which it is displayed in human relationships, particularly romantic ones.

The word respect can convey admiration, approval, and high valuing of a person or even a thing or an idea (such as respect for religious faith). The focus of this entry is person-to-person respect. Respect has both a cognitive component (such as thinking well of another) and an emotional component (such as feeling admiration toward another). Some writers have emphasized respect as something given to another simply because that other is a part of our human community. Ideally, respect in this sense crosses racial, ethnic, and religious lines and even national boundaries, granting respect (or a sense of worth) to everyone.

If one listens and watches, the word respect is heard through the media, is seen on signs in public schools and university hallways, and may even be heard in musical lyrics on occasion. In daily life, however, respect seems sometimes to be less visible than disrespect, which is defined as rudeness and disregard. Disrespect is relevant to injustices, status and power differences, social inequities, and the like. For example, persons in authority may have power over others simply because they have an authoritative role, and the role has been given power. Yet the way such persons enact their role and exercise their authority will impact whether they are respected in that role. For example, an authority figure may be feared, yet not respected.

Respect in educational settings, work settings, and the public arena is essential for maintaining social order. Disrespecting others can lead to major breaches of the social order such as crime or even war. Yet minor breaches—being rude to a sale sperson or cutting off another car/person on the freeway—may impact social life more negatively than the larger breaches simply because they weaken respect slowly but surely over time.

Respect in the workplace is related not only to effective interpersonal relationships and resulting productivity, but more fundamentally to hiring practices and how people are treated after they are hired. For example, men have often been viewed as more competent in many work settings, aside from child care, elementary school teaching, and other vocations seen as “women's work.” Deborah Tannen has said that women in the workplace want to be liked, whereas men want to be respected. If this is so, it may have implications for who is likely to be promoted, given larger raises, and so on. Respect is relevant in all cultures and countries, although criteria for and ways of displaying respect may differ.

Respect has been identified as an important component of friend and family relationships, although it may be shown in different ways in different cultures. For example, in some cultures, it is respectful to make eye contact with another person, whereas in other cultures, a lack of eye contact indicates proper respect. Many cultures pay particular attention to respecting one's elders.

Respect plays a central role in marital/romantic relationships. No matter what the task division may be in a relationship, mutual honoring and respect are important for satisfaction with and success in a relationship. In fact, respect has been identified as a component of love and as an important factor in marital quality. In some relationships, respect given may depend to an extent on the respect-worthiness of the partner, but in other relationships, respect is a freely given gift, a bestowal of respect.

...