Power Distribution in Relationships

The power distribution in a relationship refers to who has greater ability to influence or exert control over others in the relationship despite resistance. Power is fundamental to all human relationships no matter how close or distant. Further, all relationships—heterosexual, homosexual, romantic, family, coworkers, and friends—can be characterized as power relationships regardless of whether power is an obvious component of the relationships. The distribution of power also affects a wide range of other relationship matters, including feelings of trust, satisfaction, violence, leisure, and longevity.

Power is not an individual trait such as physical appearance. There are no inherently powerful (or powerless) people; certain people are powerful because they possess more resources or other qualities than others. In this sense, power distributions are relative in nature. Another way in which power can be thought of as relative is that a person's power must be understood in the context of a particular relationship. Thus, an individual may have a high-status job or prestige in the community, but this does not necessarily translate into higher power within his or her marriage or other intimate relationships. Whether one's social power contributes to greater power within intimate relationships is dependent, in large part, on how much power one's partner has. A woman manager, for instance, may be capable of exerting considerable power within the workplace, but may not be able to do so within her romantic relationship, especially if the partner is of equal or higher status. Cultural traditions and norms, especially gender expectations, also dictate the distribution of power within relationships.

Power may be manifested in various ways, such as having greater say in making important decisions, veto power (having the ability to veto the less powerful member's decision), dominating conversations, and so on. Power can also be overt (exercised outwardly) or latent (hidden); verbal, psychological, or physical; or spoken or unspoken. Indeed, it is not necessary for power to be exercised at all in order to have it. Take the case of a child who “walks on eggshells” around his father, trying hard not to upset his father. The child's fear may be rooted in previous violence, but it might also stem from knowing that the father simply has the ability to punish. Researchers also make a distinction between orchestrative power (making decisions about what gets done) and implementation power (deciding how it will get done).

Generally speaking, power can be distributed unequally or equally. When power is unequally distributed in a relationship, one person or group has greater influence over the course and definition of the relationship. In cross-sexed relationships, an unequal distribution of power can be characterized as either male-dominant (men hold most of the power) or female-dominant (women have more power). When power is equally distributed, no one person or persons dominates the relationship and interactions. This doesn't mean that they share power across all areas or domains of the relationship; rather, on balance, everyone is recognized as being equally powerful. When individuals exercise power in different domains, but essentially have equal power, the relationship is said to be autonomic. When individuals share power across domains, they are said to be syncratic.

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