Need Fulfillment in Relationships

Theoretical Perspectives

Numerous theoretical perspectives and research findings have noted the importance of the fulfillment of interpersonal needs. For example, Edward Deci and Richard Ryan's Self-Determination Theory highlights the importance of relatedness needs (i.e., the need to be connected to others) along with needs associated with autonomy and competence. Fulfillment of this fundamental “need to belong,” according to Roy Baumeister and Mark Leary, is an important motivation at the core of much research and theory on many types of relationships, including romantic relationships, friendships, and group dynamics. In short, from a wide range of perspectives, a diverse set of human needs have been identified, and many are linked to interpersonal relationships.

From an evolutionary perspective, many basic human motivations have social and relational dimensions. To survive and reproduce, organisms must have certain needs met, such as the acquisition of food, safety for oneself and kin, opportunities for mating, and subsequent caretaking of offspring. From this perspective, the continuation of the species is due to humans' abilities to fulfill social needs that promote survival and reproduction.

The Self-Expansion Model, proposed by Arthur Aron and colleagues, is based on the assumption that humans have a fundamental motivation to seek opportunities that facilitate personal growth, promote the development of self-identity, and enhance social and material resources. From this perspective, relationships play an important role in the fulfillment of self-expansion goals because interaction with relationship partners is a primary avenue through which these goals are met. For example, relationships with others serve as a source of self-identity, and knowledge and access to resources are increased through one's relationship partner. Likewise, interactions with a relationship partner may be associated with novel and exciting activities (e.g., having someone to share new experiences with), further enhancing self-expansion.

Furthermore, Interdependence Theory, articulated by John Thibaut and Harold Kelley, is based on the notion that interactions between individuals yield outcomes for those parties involved in the interaction. In other words, people get things that they desire from their relationships. Within a developmental context, as interpersonal needs are met within relationships, those relationships begin to take on more importance to the participants. Over time, individuals begin to rely on their partners for fulfillment of specific needs, thus building a pattern of interdependent interactions between partners (i.e., they depend on each other for need fulfillment). To illustrate, imagine a relationship between George and Susan in which George's needs for intimacy are met through his continued interaction with Susan (e.g., she is a good listener and provides the warmth and closeness he desires). Likewise, George may facilitate the fulfillment of Susan's companionship needs (e.g., she enjoys spending time and engaging in activities with him). As George and Susan's reliance on each other for the fulfillment of their desired needs increases over time, their relationship is strengthened.

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