Marriage and Sex

Marriage is defined as a legal union that typically occurs between a man and a woman. This interpersonal union is usually of an intimate and sexual nature that carries along with it governmental, social, and religious recognition. Sex is most frequently thought of as coitus, or vaginal intercourse (penetration of the vagina by the penis). Although coitus is the most common form of sexual expression, the term sex can also include many other types of sexual interaction such as anal intercourse (inserting the penis into the anus), oral-genital stimulation (mouth-to-genital contact), and masturbation (self-stimulation of the genitals for sexual pleasure), to name a few.

What is the relationship between marriage and sex? Why do people marry and what do they expect from their sexual relationship after marriage? This entry examines the relationship between marriage and sex with a specific focus on expectations of marital sexuality.

When asked about reasons for marriage, U.S. residents most often cite that they marry for love, emotional and economic security, companionship, and their desire to be a parent. Although sexual involvement is commonly experienced in dating relationships, marriage is the most socially accepted context for sexual expression to date. Marriage is the only condition under which the major religions positively sanction sexual interaction between couples. Additionally, marriage remains the primary context for which society approves of the entrance of children into a relationship. The link between sex and marriage is particularly important because sex is considered an integral part of a marital relationship. Many believe that sex is the glue that holds a relationship together.

What are common expectations for sex after marriage? After reviewing the literature on marital sexuality, a number of expectations come to light. First, it is expected that to have a satisfying marriage, sex with one's spouse should be both pleasurable and sexually satisfying. A second expectation is that in a healthy marriage, sexual interaction will be desired by both partners and should occur on a regular basis. A third expectation is that a marriage shall remain sexually exclusive, meaning that individuals within a marriage are to remain sexually monogamous and refrain from engaging in extramarital sexual involvement. Fourth, a common expectation in marriage is that marital partners should have the ability for successful and problem-free sexual encounters. And a final expectation is that marital partners should be able to have children if desired.