Intimacy

Self-Revealing Behavior

Self-revealing behaviors are those that reveal personal, private aspects of the self to another. Self-revealing [Page 920]behavior, or self-disclosure, is related to greater emotional involvement, fulfillment of needs, and relationship satisfaction. Self-disclosure facilitates the development of new intimate relationships and helps to maintain ongoing ones. Self-revealing behavior and accompanying emotional support are the sine qua non of intimate interactions for men and women.

Both verbal and nonverbal behavior can be self-revealing. Deeply self-revealing behavior usually involves the expression of “vulnerable emotions,” such as hurt or sadness that expose the “innermost self.” When interaction participants reveal more personal, vulnerable aspects of themselves through self-disclosure, and when they express feelings about what they have disclosed, they perceive their interactions to be more intimate.

Self-revealing behavior is that aspect of intimacy that has been most closely associated with higher levels of well-being; however, the mechanism by which it benefits the individual has not yet been determined. One study tested the hypothesis that changes in hormone levels, specifically salivary testosterone levels, would account for some of self-disclosure's health benefits. The study found that higher self-disclosure moderated short-term testosterone changes in men who interacted with a female peer versus sat alone for 15 minutes.

Positive Involvement

Positive involvement refers to the individual's devotion of full attention to the partner during an interaction. It also refers to positive regard for the other that is communicated through nonverbal and verbal cues. Some behaviors that signify positive involvement convey immediacy, defined as the directness and intensity of interaction. Decreased distance, increased gaze, and greater facial expressiveness create immediacy, as does verbal “tracking” of the partner's communication and use of present-tense verbs. Interactions characterized by immediacy are associated with positive affect.

Partner responsiveness refers to behavior that conveys attention, interest, understanding, and empathy for the other's perspective. In Harry Reis and Philip Shaver's interpersonal process model of intimate interactions, intimacy is a process that begins with one person's self-revealing behavior and continues with the other person's display of understanding, validation, and caring toward the discloser.

Research supports the contention that responsive behavior contributes to daily experiences of intimacy in romantic couple relationships, over and above effects of self-disclosure. In both college-age dating couples and married couples, interactions are not as intimate when partners are perceived to be insensitive or unresponsive to the other's self-disclosure. Responsiveness is also important in helping relationships. Early research by Carl Rogers identified therapist acceptance, warmth, and caring as critical conditions for therapeutic change. A recent study found that rape victims disclose less about their experiences when counselors are less responsive.

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