Idealization

Conceptualization and Assessment

Idealization has been defined and assessed in a variety of ways. Two research teams, headed, respectively, by Blaine Fowers and Laura Stafford, have focused on descriptions of partners or relationships that are laced with unlikely positivity. Thus, individuals may describe their relationship as perfect (e.g., “Our relationship is a perfect success”) and refer to their partner as someone who completely understands them (e.g., “My partner completely understands and sympathizes with my every mood”). Both groups of researchers assessed idealization with The Idealistic Distortion scale.

In contrast, Susan Sprecher and Sandra Metts describe idealization as romantic beliefs individuals may have about a potential partner. These beliefs entail unrealistic expectations about liking everything about the partner, being in the perfect relationship, and having a perfect partner who will completely accept, love, and understand one. Sprecher and Metts measure idealization with a three-item subscale of their Romantic Beliefs Scale. Their scale is grounded in the idea that people enter relationships with a set of beliefs or schemas about how a relationship should be. The three items making up the idealization subscale are: “The person I love will make a perfect romantic partner; for example, he/she will be completely accepting, loving, and understanding”; “I'm sure that every new thing I learn about the person I choose for a long-term commitment will please me”; and “The relationship I will have with my ‘true love’ will be nearly perfect.” Individuals who agree with these statements display idealistic beliefs because it is naïve to think that a partner will be able to meet one's every need, please one in every way, and be always loving.

Other researchers have taken a different approach. Yumi Endo, Steven Heine, and Darrin Lehman have compared perceptions of partners with perceptions of the “typical” or median partner. Thus, idealizations (or positive illusions) are defined as occurring when the majority of people rate their partner's qualities more favorably than the qualities of the typical or median partner. This definition of idealization is based on the idea that it is logically impossible for the majority of partners to be better than the “typical” or median partner for a given quality or set of qualities.

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