Grandparent-grandchild Relationship

As a result of increased life expectancy, most adults spend a considerable portion of their lives as grandparents. Increased life expectancy also means that most children have long-term relationships with multiple grandparents. As such, the grandparent-grandchild relationship is a significant family bond. Although there is great variation within individual grandparent-grandchild relationships, the relationship is highly valued and beneficial. This entry examines the nature of the grandparent-grandchild relationship, variations in this relationship, factors that influence grandparent-grandchild involvement and closeness, and consequences of a positive grandparent-grandchild relationship.

Although grandparents can be abusive toward their grandchildren or absent from their lives, most grandparents and grandchildren have long-term, loving relationships marked by high levels of affection, contact, and emotional closeness. Grandparent-grandchild relationships have been described as mutually satisfying, particularly when they are reciprocal (both parties actively participate) and symmetrical (both parties share similar feelings).

Grandparents interact with their grandchildren in a variety of ways. They give gifts, serve as playmates, provide cognitive and social stimulation, offer advice, and supply emotional support. They also provide instrumental support in the form of money, free babysitting, or other tangible goods. Depending on the quality of the relationship between their children and grandchildren, some grandparents may serve as buffers within the parent-child relationship. Grandparents also link past and future generations and assume responsibility for transmitting family history, culture, traditions, and values. Additionally, grandparents indirectly influence their grandchildren by providing emotional and material assistance, serving as role models, stabilizing or assisting the family in times of crisis, and preserving extended family ties.

Although some adults find their relationships with their grandchildren to be uncomfortable or disappointing, most enjoy being grandparents. Grandparents appreciate the sense of biological renewal, symbolic immortality, emotional self-fulfillment, and vicarious accomplishment they receive from participating in their grandchildren's lives. Many grandparents also enjoy the opportunity to indulge their grandchildren without the added responsibilities of parenting and discipline. They may derive satisfaction from the opportunity to teach their grandchildren or provide them with financial or material resources. For grandparents who felt that their work responsibilities kept them away from their own children more than they would have liked, interacting with grandchildren may represent a “second chance” at parenting.

Just as not all grandparents enjoy their grandchildren, not all grandchildren feel close to or appreciate their grandparents. However, many grandchildren enjoy positive relationships with their grandparents. Although younger grandchildren thrive on the attention they receive from grandparents, adolescent and adult grandchildren often appreciate their grandparents' wisdom, support, and guidance. Older grandchildren may also view grandparents as confidants and approach them with problems that they do not feel comfortable discussing with their parents. Grandparents are so important to grandchildren that many adult grandchildren express a desire to support and care for their grandparents, especially when their grandparents need assistance with household responsibilities and personal care.