Goal Pursuit, Relationship Influences

Interdependence of Goals and Relationship Partners

Relationship partners have many opportunities to facilitate or obstruct each other's goal pursuits within everyday interactions: For example, a husband can make breakfast for his wife, saving her time in the morning and giving her energy for a day at work, or he can forget to take out the garbage, costing her time and increasing her stress level before a day at work. As a more serious example, a husband can stay home with a new baby so that his wife can pursue her career, or he can accept a new job in a new city, disrupting his wife's career. Dozens of times throughout the day, in both tiny and consequential ways, people have opportunities to either help their partners pursue goals or (whether intentionally or accidentally) to stand in the way of goal pursuit.

Interdependence Theory describes goal pursuit as woven into the very fabric of social relationships. Indeed, few people could achieve their goals without facilitation by family, friends, colleagues, and romantic partners—if they were obstruction-ary, intentionally or unintentionally, goal pursuit would be exceedingly challenging. This is one way that researchers have thought about the interplay between goals and relationship partners—by suggesting that relationship partners can influence one's ability to achieve goals, and shape which goals people choose to pursue. For example, people are likelier to pursue goals they feel their romantic partner will support and facilitate; they are also likelier to pursue goals that are compatible with their partner's goals. If Annie's husband hates exercise and enjoys spending his evenings relaxing with Annie, she is less likely to pursue a goal of training for a triathlon, knowing her husband wouldn't be supportive and that she would be interfering with his own goal to relax together at night. Ellen Berscheid's Emotions in Relationships Model emphasizes how the interplay of goals and relationships has important consequences for goal pursuit and for relationships: Feelings about relationship partners are thought to be determined by how those partners obstruct or facilitate one's goals, such that people feel closer to partners who help their goals, and less close to partners who hinder them. Both theories predict that when romantic partners' goals are compatible—Annie hopes to lose weight and Aidan wants to start cooking more healthfully—the couple will be more successful in their goals and feel more positive emotion toward each other. When romantic partners' goals conflict—Annie hopes to lose weight and Aidan wants to become an expert baker—the couple will be less successful at their goals and feel more negatively about each other.

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