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Fun in Relationships

Having fun in relationships is an important motivation for individuals' entering into relationships and has consequences for closeness and attraction to partners. People establish and maintain relationships for a variety of reasons including security, companionship, and intimacy; relationships and romantic partners are also a source of fun and enjoyment. Actually, one of the primary goals of romantic interactions is to have fun, especially during early stages of relationship development. This entry discusses how partner and relationship characteristics, as well as the types of experiences couples have together, can increase the amount of fun in relationships.

Humor in Relationships

Fun is closely associated with humor in relationships. Humorous individuals are perceived as attractive, and sense of humor is an important characteristic when selecting a romantic partner. Furthermore, in studies of preferences of partners' characteristics, sense of humor is rated as an increasingly important attribute as relationships become more serious (i.e., from friendships to short-term to long-term relationships). In particular, research on mate selection indicates that sense of humor is especially important for females when selecting a romantic partner, whereas males put less emphasis on humor relative to other characteristics, such as physical attractiveness. Humor has a significant function in relationships by promoting fun, enjoyable interactions, and intimacy. Furthermore, individuals in satisfying relationships report that humor occurs frequently and view humor as a central part of their relationships. Although humor is clearly a valued aspect of romantic relationships, it may be troublesome in cross-sex friendships because it can be interpreted as unwanted flirting or harassment.

Along with humor, other relationship characteristics may facilitate fun. For example, having fun in a relationship may be a function of the degree of similarity between partners. Research conducted by Brant Burleson and Wayne Denton indicates that people who are similar to their partners enjoy their interactions with partners more than do those who are dissimilar, and enjoyment of interactions is an important factor leading to attraction in relationships. In short, similarity promotes fun in relationships, and fun is associated with attraction.

Furthermore, relationship quality may be enhanced by playfulness between partners in more established relationships. People who engage in playful interactions in their relationships tend to experience more positive emotions, relationship satisfaction, and feel closer to their partners. Interestingly, playfulness can include mock aggression, or play fighting, between partners. Mock aggression occurs frequently in relationships and is generally reported as being associated with positivity in the relationship.

Fun and Self-Expansion

In the most general sense, people pursue relationships that are rewarding or that benefit them in some fashion. Fun and enjoyment are common rewards that relationships provide. Art and Elaine

Aron's Self-Expansion Model provides a theoretical basis for why fun would be particularly desirable in close relationships. According to the model, people are fundamentally motivated to enhance their capabilities through the accumulation of knowledge, experience, identities, and other resources. One way to accomplish this is through participation in self-expanding activities that involve novelty, challenge, fun, and enjoyment. The model further states that the primary way people satisfy this motivation is through close relationships. The Self-Expansion Model hypothesizes that initial romantic attraction is greatest for partners who provide the potential to maximize one's own expansion. Thus, engaging in novel activities with a partner should be experienced as fun and therefore enhance attraction for that partner and increase relationship satisfaction.

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