Friendships in Adolescence

Transition from Childhood to Adolescent Friendship

Considerable research documents changes in the features of friendship from childhood through adolescence. Preschool playmate preferences are transformed during the grade-school years into true dyadic friendships in which children reciprocally identify themselves as friends, spend time doing things together inside and outside school, and are able to cooperatively play together. These friendships unfold within the broader context of classroom peer-group status; most everyone likes popular children, most everyone dislikes rejected children, and neglected children are neither liked nor disliked by classmates. Rejected children are most likely to be friendless, often because of some combination of their own aggressiveness, poor social skills, or other “misfit” characteristics. Overall, about 85 percent of all children have at least one reciprocated friendship, with most children having two to four good friends.

Whereas childhood friendships are based on propinquity (proximity) and similarity of objective characteristics, children are especially drawn to peers who share their interests in particular activities, be it competitive sports, computer games, social conversation, or academic subjects. Dyads tend to be highly segregated by age and gender, with opposite-sex friendships viewed as atypical. Theorists have argued that the self-imposed isolation of boys' and girls' friendships creates different socialization cultures, with girls' friendships fostering a more connection-oriented focus on talk and close relationships, whereas boys' friendships foster a more agency-oriented focused on activities and competition. As children approach the teenage years, these gender barriers collapse as sexual and romantic interests erupt.