Friends with Benefits

We all know that friendships between men and women differ from heterosexual romantic relationships. To give one example, sexual interaction typically occurs in close, intimate, romantic relationships whereas friends generally eschew these encounters. The boundaries between friendships and romantic relationships, however, are not as rigid as some may think. For example, one of the challenges facing some close cross-sex friends is sexual or physical attraction. Moreover, modern sexual interactions between heterosexual men and women differ dramatically from a half-century ago. One recent example of this change, noted primarily on college campuses, is the topic of this entry: Friends With Benefits. Put simply, friends with benefits relationships (FWBRs) represent a relational hybrid of friendships and sexual partnerships. More formally, FWBRs are platonic friendships (i.e., partners who are not dating and do not consider themselves to be romantically involved) in which individuals engage in some degree of sexual interaction. The sexual activity generally occurs on repeated occasions (in contrast to a one-night-stand or hookup), and can include behaviors ranging from kissing to sexual intercourse. This entry discusses the nature of FWBRs, how their ideal differs from their reality, and the variety of these relationship types.

Friends with benefits relationships attempt to combine the best of two relational worlds by fusing the communication and closeness of a friendship with the sexual intimacy of a romantic relationship. At the same time, however, partners try to avoid the commitments and responsibilities (the “strings”) typical of a romantic entanglement. In addition to lacking commitment, FWBRs typically lack exclusivity so that if partners wanted to date or engage in casual sex with other partners, they are generally free to do so.