Field of Eligibles and Availables

Humans seek relationship partners, and eventually mates, according to principles that help to narrow the universe of possibilities to a final choice. At least three general concepts are useful when thinking about how this winnowing process works: eligibles, availables, and desirables. Each of these may be thought of as a field or pool, a set of qualifying persons and, by implication, a residual set of others who do not qualify. This entry discusses each of these concepts in the context of the mating process.

The field of eligibles refers to socially acceptable categories of partners. This field has two types of boundaries. Endogamous norms specify eligible partners according to their membership in the same or similar groups. The most commonly operative endogamous criteria are social class, race, ethnicity, religion, and age. We are supposed to seek partners similar to ourselves in these respects because it is believed that such matches lead to more satisfactory relationships. The other eligibility criterion involves exogamous norms. Social expectations usually require or encourage us to seek partners who are different from ourselves in certain respects. The two most common exoga-mous norms are that we should seek opposite-sex partners and partners who are not too closely related by blood to ourselves. Homosexual unions are legally prohibited in many but not all jurisdictions, and almost every society has rules that discourage or punish incest.

The field of availables refers to those potential partners whom we are likely to meet and with whom we therefore could develop a meaningful relationship. The two most common manifestations of availability are geographic proximity and not already being in a committed relationship. Proximity, sometimes known as propinquity, has obvious implications. We cannot become acquainted, let alone fall in love, with people if we have no chance of ever meeting them. Research shows that the closer two people reside geographically, the more likely they are to marry. So, proximity influences opportunities to meet. Marital status also influences availability. In societies that require monogamy, already being married makes you unavailable for a new romantic relationship. Despite the restrictions imposed by shared expectations about availability, it is easy to appreciate how these norms may be challenged. Advances in technology have made it possible to meet geographically remote people on the Internet. Extramarital affairs testify to the occasional disregard of marital status when dealing with rules about availability. The relative weakness of restrictions about availability has even led to the idea that everybody is permanently available to everybody else.

The field of desirables refers to those people who meet a set of personal preferences about possible partners. Among the most important factors here are physical attractiveness, personality characteristics, and leisure interests. Potential partners may have to meet certain standards of fashion, grooming, and beauty to be considered serious possibilities. They also may have to be sociable, pleasant, good listeners, and have a nice sense of humor. Desirable partners also may have to share several leisure interests in common with the person making the evaluation. Although preferences may appear to be unique to the person having them, many preferences are widely shared within a given culture. For example, standards of beauty may be influenced by the appearances and practices of [Page 685]celebrities and the ways in which the mass media portray them.

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