Falling in love

History of the Study of Falling in Love

Falling in love has been the subject of both artistic and scholarly attention from the earliest times. Some classical contributions in Western culture are Plato's Symposium, Stendhal's book-length 18th century essay de L'Amour, and Sigmund Freud's extensive discussions of the topic. In the 19th and early 20th centuries, cultural anthropologists and clinical writers outside the Freudian tradition became interested in the topic; researchers in the 1960s and 1970s mainly focused on initial romantic attraction between strangers. The 1980s set the stage for much current thinking on romantic love, most prominently including the extension of Attachment Theory to adult love, descriptive work on intense passionate love, the identification of lay understandings of love, and the development and application of relevant theoretical models. Researchers in the early 1990s added work on unreciprocated love and love ideals. The major developments in the late 1990s and early 21st century include an upsurge of interest in romantic love in adolescence and old age, ethnic and cultural differences, love as an emotion, and—most prominently—biological approaches, including work on oxytocin and vasopressin in [Page 592]monogamous prairie voles, the related work it has inspired in humans, and brain imaging and other neuroscience methods.

What is Falling in Love?

As noted, falling in love is the transition from not being in love to being in love. The metaphor of “falling” suggests a rapid transition, but many individuals report a gradual transition, sometimes over years, as from an acquaintanceship to an intense passion. Nevertheless, regardless of how long it takes, falling in love for most people clearly refers to a transition from something not at all intense to something quite intense, involving a major redirection of one's attention and energy, and more than just a passing or ephemeral attraction or valuing of an individual.

The key definitional issue has been about what is being fallen into: “What is love?” Extensive research by Beverly Fehr and others has shown that people understand love by its resemblance to a prototype, a standard model, or idea (as one would recognize a bird by its resemblance to a robin). The prototypical features of love encompass, in order of cen-trality, intimacy, commitment, and passion. Scientists such as Art Aron, by contrast, have defined love in a more formal way, for example, as “the constellation of behaviors, cognitions, and emotions associated with a desire to enter or maintain a close relationship with a specific other person.” Researchers have found romantic love to be associated with dependence, caring, and exclusiveness, as distinguished from mere liking, which emphasizes similarity, respect, and positive evaluation. Elaine Hatfield and Ellen Berscheid also distinguished passionate romantic love (“intense longing for union with another”) from companionate love (“affection … for those with whom our lives are deeply entwined”). Some items on the standard research measure of passionate love are “I would rather be with ___ than with anyone else” and “I melt when looking deeply into ____'s eyes.” A similar distinction is between those whom one “loves” and the subset of these with whom one is “in love.”

...