Ex-Partner and Ex-Spouse Relationships

Childless Ex-Partner Relationships

Although relationships between former partners who do not have children are less likely to continue than are relations between those who share children, most childless ex-partners maintain some contact after divorce. There are a number of reasons for this. For example, they may continue to work together, they may share the same social circle, or they may want to maintain the friendship [Page 558]they had before and during the marriage. They may also want to continue ties because of shared history, because of extended family relationships, and to maintain mutual support. Some couples can maintain close friendships but cannot tolerate each other's company on a day-in and day-out basis. There are few societal scripts, however, to guide former partners in how to relate with each other. There is also a prevailing assumption that ex-partners should be antagonists. If ex-partners remain friendly after divorce, others are often confused about why the relationship dissolved or they may make assumptions that the couple will reunite. New romantic partners often discourage expartner relationships. If intimacy boundaries are not renegotiated, ex-partners may continue such behaviors as having keys to each other's households, and sharing pets and expensive items such as snow blowers, lawn mowers, and vacuum cleaners. It may be disconcerting to a new romantic partner when an ex-partner bursts into the house, unannounced, sometimes at quite inappropriate times, to borrow the vacuum cleaner!

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