Divorce, ChilDren and

Children's Initial Reactions

Differences in children's reactions to parental divorce are evident as soon as they are notified of the news. Interviews with parents of children ages 6 through 12 have found that approximately half of the children responded to news of the separation with distress or sadness, fewer than 1 in 10 (9 percent) were angry, a similar proportion (8 percent) were relieved, and the remainder either asked questions or had no visible reactions. When children themselves were asked to describe their feelings upon hearing that their parents were [Page 454]separating, they described a wide range of emotional responses. Reflecting a sense of loss, the most common reaction (reported by half of the children) was sadness. Other emotions children reported feeling in abundance included being confused (22 percent), scared (22 percent), surprised (15 percent), angry (13 percent), and glad (11 percent). By 1 year postseparation, children were feeling better and stronger and less sad and guilty, but a small percentage (9 percent) continued to feel angry. It should be noted that although the prevailing initial reactions were negative in tone a substantial minority of children were described as being relieved or described themselves as glad. For many children, parental divorce signals a transition in family relationships whereby daily tensions, bickering, and hostility between parents subside, creating hope for a happier family environment.

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