Dissolution of Relationships, Breakup Strategies

The dissolution of a relationship can be considered one of the most painful and stressful events in the life of an individual, with psychological and emotional effects that may extend to the family and social network. With current divorce rates at approximately 50 percent, there is a clear need to learn more about both marital and premarital relationship breakups. This entry describes one specific part of the dissolution process—the strategies that are used to disengage from intimate relationships.

Relationship researchers do not characterize the breakup as a single event but rather as a process that may lead to a change in or the eventual termination of a relationship. Behavioral or communication strategies are considered in most stage models of relationship dissolution. There are several stage models of the process that have been proposed that include the common patterns that a couple may go through. The process typically begins with the realization that one or both partners are dissatisfied with the relationship. Once the decision has been made to act on or to discuss this dissatisfaction, a number of breakup strategies may be used.

Breakup strategies include both verbal and nonverbal methods to disengage from or terminate a relationship. These strategies are considered goal-directed and proactive and are typically examined from the perspective of the initiator. Most breakups are not mutual—in most cases, one partner unilaterally wants to end the relationship more than the other. It is the initiator who engages in the behavioral and communication strategies that are instrumental in changing or ending the relationship. There are, however, some strategies that have been identified that partners may use when the decision is mutual.

Research focused on understanding more about these strategies and their role in the breakup process has had two primary goals. The first goal has been to identify and classify the particular strategies that individuals use during the dissolution of relationships. A second goal has been to investigate whether the selection of breakup strategies depends on particular factors, including individual attributes (e.g., age, gender), relationship attributes (e.g., the level of intimacy), or situational factors (e.g., marital vs. premarital, amount of overlap in shared social networks).