Depression and Relationships

Relationship Problems and Depression

Scientists have identified numerous relationships that appear to be problematic for depressed people. For example, many people who are clinically depressed also experience marital distress. The marriages of people with depression tend to be laden with conflict, negatively toned communications, low levels of responsiveness, and difficulties with intimacy. Some married couples experience coercive processes in which one spouse's display of depressive behaviors, such as crying or making self-derogatory statements, is rewarded by the [Page 399]other spouse who shows higher than normal levels of kindness, reduces demands, or temporarily stops hostile behaviors. In such couples, the relationship can actually maintain depressive behaviors, despite their otherwise negative effect on both spouses, because kindness and sympathy from the partner serve as a form of positive reinforcement and cessation of hostility, and demands from the partner can function as negative reinforcement. Both of these processes can prompt further depressive displays and cause frustration from a partner who inadvertently rewards the very depressive behavior that he or she would like to put an end to. There is some evidence to suggest that the quality of one's interpersonal relationships is more strongly associated with depression among women compared to men. However, the vast majority of the interpersonal processes outlined in this entry do not vary extensively as a function of sex—all are corrosive to the psychological well-being of women or men.

There are several reasons why the marriages of people with depression are marred by distress and dissatisfaction. First, the assortative mating effect happens when depressed people seek out other people with depression with whom to form a relationship. The amalgamation of two people's troubles and difficulties rarely forms the basis for a happy and contented relationship. Second, the shared stress effect occurs when the events that make one spouse depressed (e.g., loss of a job) also negatively affect the other spouse. Third, young people who are depressed sometimes exhibit truncated mate selection. The experience of depression appears to cause people to make hasty decisions to marry and to do so at a younger age. It is believed that this happens because young people with depression might see marriage as a way out of the difficult circumstances in which they otherwise find themselves. By marrying early, the mate selection process by which people carefully choose a potential partner is drastically shortened. This greatly increases the probability of later finding oneself in a distressed marriage.

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