Dating Relationships in Adolescence and Young Adulthood

Definition

In earlier eras, courtship was highly structured and typically orchestrated and supervised by an adolescent or young adult's parents. In addition, the primary purpose of heterosexual socializing was to forge a bond that culminated in a marriage proposal. Contemporary dating relationships, in contrast, lack the heavily scripted and managed qualities of these earlier liaisons and especially in adolescence, frequently are not considered by young people as a gateway to an eventual marriage. Instead, dating relationships fill needs for companionship and fun, exploration of sexual feelings and the desire for intimacy, and even status enhancement. Yet research has also documented that adolescents and young adults accord much importance to their dating relationships, as over time romantic partners become an increasingly key source of positive and negative emotions, reference, and influence. Recognizing that dating does not necessarily connote participating in specific activities (dinner and a movie) or levels of involvement (going steady), however, a working definition some researchers use is simply when one likes someone and he or she likes that person back. This definition reflects that a degree of reciprocation is necessary; that is, absent this shared element, the young person can be considered to have a crush or unrequited love. This definition also distinguishes dating relationships from casual sexual contacts, where positive regard for the other is not prerequisite.

The Characteristics of Dating Relationships

A helpful way to describe the characteristics of early romantic relationships is to compare them to the same-gender friendships that are also an important feature of this phase of the life course. Whereas friendships are most often forged on the basis of similarity, romantic relationships more commonly bridge differences. In addition, young people have a backlog of experience in how to conduct a friendship relationship but almost by definition lack experience in the specifics of developing romantic ties. Accordingly, researchers have noted that while friendships are typically considered an arena of social support and comfort during this time, the dating world is more often a source of uncertainty and anxiety. For example, friendships are often characterized by high levels of intimate self-disclosure. In contrast, young people often experience awkwardness and a lack of confidence as they begin to develop romantic ties.

At the same time, romantic relationships often engender heightened emotionality that contrasts further with the more settled world of friendship. Dating relationships have the potential to include various forms of sexual intimacy and, more generally, to become a special attachment. These features of dating relations are far from inevitable, however, and average durations of early romantic ties support the young person's view that dating relationships are relatively more precarious. Even within the context of ongoing relationships, different interests are common and a source of further uncertainty and potential distress.

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