Connectedness, Tension with Autonomy

In a symbolic sense, humans, like birds, need both a nest for stable connections and wings to soar freely toward greater autonomy. This comparison underscores how important it is for people both to become securely connected and to explore greater autonomy within marriage, parent-child, dating, friendships, workplace, and other intimate relationships. Consistent with these ideas, this entry describes autonomy and connectedness, with a special focus on whether individuals experience either tension or compatibility between these aspects of their intimate human relationships.

Autonomy is a component of individualism, or an assortment of socially valued qualities that allow a person to become more self-directed and self-governing. The development of personal autonomy consists of several aspects of relationships including (1) affirming one's personal rights, (2)exercising freedom of choice in life decisions, (3)demonstrating self-initiated behavior, (4) experiencing and controlling personal emotions separate from the emotions of others, and (5) developing one's own system of values and beliefs. Autonomous qualities are believed to be central features of relationships in Westernized societies such as the United States and Western Europe but are present in other cultures to a lesser degree. In contrast, connectedness is a component of collectivism, or an assortment of socially valued qualities that emphasize the importance of social responsibility, attachment to others, and group togetherness. Personal connectedness involves several aspects of relationships including (1) seeking frequent contact and emotional closeness with others, (2)expressing affection, (3) striving for harmony within groups, (4) emphasizing one's responsibility to other group members, and (5) complying with group expectations and promoting group interests. Aspects of connectedness are believed to be most common among members of Asian and Hispanic societies but are present in other cultures to a lesser degree. Evidence is growing that people in most, if not all, societies encourage some degree of balance between autonomy and connectedness.