Conflict, Family

Defining Family Conflict

In the most basic way, family conflict can be defined as interpersonal conflict experienced in familial relationships. This means that it is a special case of interpersonal conflict. It is interpersonal because it takes place between individuals who are fully aware of one another and who are interdependent. Like other types of interpersonal conflict, it has both psychological and behavioral attributes. At the psychological level, family conflict exists whenever a family member pursues a goal and perceives another member to be interfering with achieving that goal. At the behavioral level, family conflict occurs whenever a family member engages in outward behavior directed at reducing or removing the perceived interference. [Page 294]Such behavior may range from an indirect request, such as simply stating one's desires (e.g., “I'd love to go to that party”), to acts of physical coercion (e.g., battering a spouse), and they can be directed at the interfering family member or a third party (e.g., a child anticipating a “no” from the mother might go to the father first).

Family conflict is different from other types of interpersonal conflict for several reasons. First, family relationships are usually involuntary—that is, relationships exist and are maintained regardless of how rewarding or satisfying they are, meaning that they are also enduring and full of personal history. Second, family relationships are embedded within family systems, meaning that they affect and are affected by other interpersonal relationships within the family. For example, a conflict between siblings affects not only their relationship, but also one sibling's relationship with another sibling or the relationship between the parents. Finally, family relationships exist within a cultural context that defines a specific set of expectations, rules, and values for family relationships that are different from other interpersonal relationships. For example, in North America, compared with other interpersonal relationships, family relationships are affectionate, less private, and more physically violent (e.g., spanking).

Frequency and Intensity of Conflict

Of all interpersonal relationships, family relationships are the most conflicted because of both the greater intimacy of family relationships and the greater interdependence of family members. Greater intimacy leads to more conflict because it is associated with more directness in communication, an increased sense that one has the right to make requests of the other, and increased expectations that the other will comply with one's request. Greater interdependence leads to more conflict because being dependent on others means that they are more likely to be able to interfere with goal achievement and to be perceived as interfering.

Research has not been able to establish the frequency of family conflict, mainly because different researchers use somewhat different definitions and operationalizations of conflict, but there can be no doubt that it constitutes a substantial proportion of family communication. Particularly, when using the definition proposed in this entry, arguably most interactions involving parenting could be defined as conflict.

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