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Compassionate Love

Compassionate love is centered on the good of the other. The expressions compassionate love and the closely related altruistic love are used in recent research to identify a self-giving, caring love that values the other highly and has the intention of giving full life to the other, promoting flourishing. At the core of the construct are motivation, discernment, and a freely chosen decision to give. The why of the action, the reason for the behavior, the motivation behind the action—all are important to categorizing attitudes and actions as compassionately loving in nature. Compassionate love can be expressed in the context of other kinds of love such as romantic love and familial affection and in the context of altruistic actions but reaches beyond them. Compassionate love is not always in response to the suffering of another; it also includes attitudes and actions designed to encourage the flourishing and growth of another at a cost to self. This kind of love is a central feature in many religious traditions but is not necessarily tied to any particular religion.

Certain qualities are central to compassionate love: (a) choosing freely to give of self for the benefit of the other; (b) some degree of cognitive understanding of the situation of the other and of oneself; (c) valuing the other at a fundamental level; (d) openness and receptivity, leaving space for receptivity to the divine if relevant; and (e) response of the heart, the integrative core of one's being. Some affective quality is usually part of this kind of attitude or action, and moral decision making has been seen in empirical studies to involve affective as well as cognitive areas of the brain and body. This entry builds on this definition of compassionate love and articulates a model that is useful in fleshing out the construct, interpreting research in the area, and creating applications of research.

Operational Model

Lynn Underwood developed a model that has been useful in developing research in this area and in applying that research to practical situations. The starting point of the model, the substrate of compassionate love, consists of individual variations in personality, biology, and developmental patterns nested within and shaped by cultural, historical, family, and social environments. Although none of these factors necessarily determine whether a person will be compassionately loving, they can increase or decrease the possibility of such behavior. Individuals, with their different initial conditions, or substrate, encounter specific situations and relationships. They engage with motivation and discernment and then make choices resulting in action or expression of attitude. There is also a feedback loop. Actions feed back on the individual, affecting the development of the person over time. The outcomes of actions and the effect of being loving itself can both exert feedback on the development of the person. Some examples follow that indicate the kinds of research that are emerging in this area and that help to flesh out this basic model.

Elaboration of the Model with Research Findings and Possibilities

Substrate

Relevant factors that affect one's capacity to express compassionate love include such things as how well one was loved as a child, one's religious and cultural environment, and one's inherited disposition. For example, it has been shown that empathic concern, but not perspective-taking empathy, may be inherited to some extent and that extraverts may find it easier to reach out to a stranger than introverts. Empathy can also be taught in a parental or social context. Physical factors are also part of the substrate. The old or disabled are less able to offer physical assistance to a person in need, even if the desire exists. Although none of these factors necessarily determine whether a person will be compassionately loving, they increase or decrease the probability of such behavior and the form it can take. These substrate factors, which can change over time, can be thought of as limitations of freedom, as they may constrain the capacity to love, but these substrate factors can also boost the capacity to express love.

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