Commercial Channels for Mate Seeking

Commercial channels for mate seeking and dating are one form of marriage market intermediary (MMI). Sociologists often speak of mate selection occurring in the “marriage market,” by which they mean the system of social and commercial institutions that facilitate courtship. Like all markets, the marriage market attempts to improve the efficiency of searching for information, making decisions, and conducting transactions (which researchers have called interacting in the context of social relationships). MMIs, like intermediaries in other markets, can be understood in terms of their ability to help with one or more of these functions (see Figure 1).

Some MMIs, like singles ads, primarily help to reduce search costs by providing and organizing information about eligible others. Others such as traditional matchmakers or Web sites such as http://eHarmony.com go beyond providing information and help the single choose with whom to interact. Finally, some MMIs also influence and structure the interactions themselves. For example, many traditional matchmakers provide dating advice along with the introductions. Similarly, speed dating in which clients meet a series of eligible others in rapid succession is popular in part because many clients like the way it structures the initial phases of interaction. Although overt commercial MMIs usually advertise themselves as helping singles find a long-term relationship, even when that goal is not achieved, many singles report secondary psychological benefits from meeting available others and in some cases, report positive interactions with matchmakers or other urban agents.

There is a pervasive myth that either singles use overt commercial MMIs such as dating services, or they try to find a mate on their own. This view overlooks the pervasive nature of MMIs (see Figure 2). MMIs can be overt, such as a dating service, or semicovert, such as a nightclub where many customers pay in part for the opportunity to meet eligible others. For example, for many years there were pervasive stereotypes about women attending college to get their “Mrs. degree,” revealing that for some families, paying college tuition for their daughters was at least in part purchasing access to a semicovert MMI. Another distinction within MMIs is that they can either be commercial or noncommercial in nature, and many MMIs are run as part of broader social institutions such as with churches. Over the past 20 years, we have seen a shift toward more commercial MMIs and in some cases, toward more overt MMIs, although semicovert MMIs such as Facebook and other Internet social networking sites are thriving as well.

Figure 1 Functions of Marriage Markets