Aunts and Uncles, Relationships with

How Active Are Aunts and Uncles

Uncles and aunts vary widely in the depth of their relationships with nieces and nephews. Some maintain close and long-standing relationships; some do not. The relative proportions of each are unknown. The closeness of adult siblings is an important determinant of the closeness of relationships among aunts and uncles with nieces and nephews. When adult siblings experience close relationships, they are more likely to develop and maintain relationships with each other's children, and when the relationships of adult siblings are estranged, their relationships with nieces and nephews are limited. As is often the case in families, women act as the primary kinkeepers and are often responsible for encouraging ties between their adult siblings and their children. The relationships of sisters are typically closer, relative to brothers. Sisters provide more help to family members, a wider range of help, and are more willing to engage in practical tasks like providing supplemental childcare when needed (i.e., aunting), and their willingness to send cards and gifts creates and maintains a familial sense of place, meaning, and ritual.

A variety of additional factors are central in influencing the relationships of aunts and uncles with nieces and nephews. Geographic distance can limit the development of their relationships, while on the other hand, living in close proximity can encourage such developments. But simplistic equations are not terribly insightful or predictive of the course of personal relationships among kin. Contemporary mediums such as cell phones, personal or family Web pages, and e-mail can and do ameliorate the challenges of maintaining long-distance relationships by offering a convenient means by which family members can observe frequent contact and keep informed of one another's daily lives. In many cases, social distance—or how close or distant family members feel to one another—trumps geographic distance as an influential factor. Other factors like time-intensive careers and family obligations can impede the development of relationships among aunts, uncles, and children. On the other hand, less intensive personal obligations permit developing closer relationships. Childless aunts and uncles seem to become more involved with nieces and nephews relative to those adult siblings who become parents. Childless aunts and uncles indicate they have more time available for children as well as an expressed interest in mentoring children. For some, relationships with nieces and nephews may be their only opportunity to become involved with children. The experience of parental separation and divorce complicates relationships, and in such cases, aunts and uncles can serve as important confidants for both parents and children.

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