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Young children in the United States taunt one another about cross-sex friendships by chanting “First comes love, then comes marriage….” This chant reflects a common assumption in the Western industrialized world, as well as elsewhere, about how one enters into a marital relationship—via the process of developing an intimate, romantic relationship with another person and subsequently choosing to formalize a commitment via marriage. In arranged marriages, the people getting married may not know one another prior to their wedding day, and the decisions that resulted in their marriage were made at least in part by other people—their family and community. By some estimates, 80 percent of documented cultures in the world engage in some form of arranged marriage practice. Even in the industrialized West, arranged marriages occurred in the past, and certain subgroups, such as Hindu individuals living in the United States and Canada, continue to arrange marriages in the present time.

Variation in Marital Arranging Practices

The variety of ways in which arrangements for marriage are made across and within cultures is enormous. This variety is made even more complex because cultural practices for arranging marriage are not static—they change over historical time. The exporting of Western concepts like that of love marriage, as represented in films and popular culture, also alters the practices that people in different places engage in and the ways they talk about their relationships.

Some of the variability in practices revolves around who is eligible to be married. For example, cultures and subcultures vary in whether arrangements involve prepubescent children, who may live apart until they reach a marriageable age, whether the age of eligibility for marriage is the same for males and females, and whether first cousins are viewed as appropriate or desirable marriage partners (termed consanguineal marriage). Practices may involve the exchange of gifts or money, in some cases money that comes with the bride (also termed dowry or bride wealth), and in some cases, money or resources that the groom's family pays as a kind of exchange for the wife. Often, both sides provide at least some gifts or resources, but there is often an imbalance in one or the other direction. The criteria for selecting possible matches also vary substantially. Because arranged marriages often involve establishing relations between families and entail the distribution of family property, wealth and community status figure prominently in many practices. Religion, character, and reputation also are important. The individual capabilities and achievements of the potential spouses may matter to varying degrees—traditionally, brides and grooms may be expected to demonstrate skills relevant to their roles as spouses.

Perhaps most importantly, arranging practices also vary in terms of who does the arranging. In many instances, parents serve a primary role, but cultures vary in the extent to which fathers versus mothers or both parents are involved. Furthermore, in most cultures with arranged marriages, the arrangement engages a variety of individuals in addition to parents, as other parties are consulted. For example, in traditional Hindu arrangement practices, uncles and priests may be consulted for help in identifying and evaluating potential suitors or brides even when parents make primary decisions. The relative power and involvement of the to-be-married individuals varies extensively, from approaches in which the potential spouses can only resist via extreme measures, such as feigning insanity or illness, to approaches in which the potential spouses have full veto power over a potential match. In some cases, the power of the potential spouses to refuse a match varies as a function of gender, with males having more power to refuse than females. Related to the power of potential spouses to refuse a match is the possibility of premarriage contact. Typically, arranging practices that permit more premarriage contact have more scope for potential spouses to develop their own opinions and to provide input. Such contact, however, is not like Western ideas about dating and courtship—continuing to meet with a potential partner carries strong commitments.

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