Abuse and Violence in Relationships

Types of Abusive Behavior

Physical abuse can range from pushing and shoving, hitting and punching, to using or threatening to use a weapon such as a knife or gun. Battering tends to involve the more extreme forms of physical abuse mentioned above, as well as beating-up the victim. Verbal abuse can involve name-calling, insults, put-downs (behaviors that most couples are likely to use from time to time during conflict), or more extreme emotional abuse that attempts to destroy the confidence and self-esteem of the victim. Statements such as “You'll never amount to anything,” “You'd be nothing without me,” “You're useless” fall into this category. Perpetrators may also seek to separate the victim from support groups of family and friends and may threaten extreme consequences if the victim reports the abuse. Another tactic of extreme abusers is to threaten to harm children or pets or to damage precious possessions if the victim does not comply. Some abusers use economic abuse such as denying access to money as a means of control and as a way of ensuring victims have less access to a range of resources and hence a great difficulty leaving the relationship.

Whether abuse is primarily perpetrated by men or women has been a contentious issue over more than 25 years. Some argue that men are the main perpetrators of violence in couple relationships, and women are violent only when defending themselves against male brutality. Others argue that males and females are equally violent because that is what most studies show. Michael Johnson's typology, however, has to some extent helped to clarify the issues. He argues that there are different types of abuse; his main two categories are intimate terrorism and situational couple violence.

According to Johnson, which type of violence is found depends on the type of sample being studied. Intimate terrorism is more likely to be found in clinical or refuge samples (those seeking refuge [Page 5]in a shelter). This form of violence is seen as one tactic in a general pattern of control, is more likely to escalate over time and involve serious injury, occurs more frequently than situational couple violence, and is mostly perpetrated by men, although it is sometimes perpetrated by women. Intimate terrorism tends to be based on a belief in male privilege and superiority: “I am the boss in this house,” “What I say goes and you'd better do it.” It can involve physical attacks, coercion and threats, emotional abuse, intimidation, isolation, and economic abuse.

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