Grief, Types Of

As social beings, our need to attach to others begins at the time of birth. In fact, our survival depends on meeting this need. Ongoing cultivation of this need leads to many significant relationships during our lifetime. However, when a loved one, to whom we had attached in a variety of ways, dies, it is often a devastating experience. A process of adjusting to this experience of loss is what psychologists label as a bereavement crisis. In Greek, crisis means turning point. During this turning point in our lives after losing a loved one, the intense emotional experience is called grief. Loss and grief go hand in hand and grief as a universal experience is a part of every person's life. Change in circumstances after the death of a loved one, difficulty in functioning as one had functioned before the death, and having to accept the unacceptable give rise to a multifaceted grief reaction. Even though it is a sad and painful experience, grieving is considered a necessary part of postdeath adjustment. While no one is spared the challenge of dealing with loss and grief, the differences lie in the type and duration of grief experienced and how people cope with their losses.

Many experts have tried to explain the normal experience of grief in a variety of ways. Some explain grief by breaking down its course and components into stages or phases, while others describe tasks of mourning. These models of grief provide the frame of reference for the bereaved to conceptualize their experience of loss and its resolution. Regardless of the conceptual differences, a common theme in all these theories is that grief is a process and not a static event.

One of the original and best-known theories of grief is presented by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross. She identified five stages: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. This theory is applicable to both the patient who has been diagnosed with terminal illness as well as his or her family members. Following Kübler-Ross, many writers have presented their grief models with different numbers of stages or phases. A more simplified and inclusive view based on these models is that generally people tend to pass through three broad phases or stages of bereavement. These stages overlap and do not necessarily occur in a sequence. In fact, the bereaved individuals move back and forth between these stages as they work through them. And not everyone goes through these stages at the same rate and with same intensity.

An initial stage of shock, numbness, or disbelief is characterized by mechanical functioning and social insulation. This phase may last for minutes or weeks. The next stage of depression incorporates acute anguish with intensely painful feelings of loss that usually lasts from weeks to months. Finally, after months or even years, a phase of resolution involving reentry into a somewhat “normal” social life arrives. During this phase, the reality of the loss is accepted and intensity of grief symptoms diminishes. The grieving person begins to focus on the present and the future. An identity without the deceased is established and life can be enjoyed again. However, a normal progression through these phases or stages depends on a person's personality, type and nature of the relationship with the deceased, past experiences with losses, his or her present life circumstances, circumstances and nature of the death, and existing support system. Although people may successfully proceed through various stages or phases of bereavement, their perception of loss may always be there.

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