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Polyamory and Polygamy
Various forms of intimate relationships and families are practiced in the Unites States today, following several transitions such as the rise in single parenthood, stepfamilies, cohabitation, the retreat from marriage, and visibility of lesbian and gay partnerships. Polyamory is a relationship and familial form, practice, and identity that translates literally as “many loves.” Polyamorous (“poly”) relationships are those in which people engage in meaningful, ongoing, loving, and/or sexual relationships with multiple partners simultaneously. Polygamy is a form of polyamory in which one person maintains several spousal relationships simultaneously. However, the two practices differ substantially, particularly in terms of marriage, motivation, and values. This entry introduces polyamory and polygamy as practiced in North America, discusses related contemporary social debate, and examines how these practices challenge dominant social norms.
Polyamory
Polyamory is one of several types of nonmonogamy, which is any relationship form that involves multiple partners simultaneously. Specifically, polyamory involves consensual nonmonogamy, a relationship practice in which people actively negotiate and agree to relationships with multiple partners. Polyamorous relationships differ from other types of open relationships or marriages because the latter are those in which partners may seek external sexual and/or romantic relationships outside of a primary partnership(s) without mutual negotiation and agreement. For example, someone who engages in open relationships may engage in external casual sex without his or her partners' knowledge. In contrast, poly partners are open and honest regarding additional relationships and often feel “compersion” (happiness or excitement) for their partners' other intimate relationships.
Likewise, polyamory differs from swinging because swinging generally involves short-term acts of casual sex with couples or individuals by couples who engage in primary dyadic relationships. Although some poly relationships are sexual in nature, the emphasis on meaningful relationships differentiates polyamory from swinging. In addition, group marriage is a form of polyamory commonly known as polyfidelity (closed-group relationships); however, group marriage differs from other forms of polyamory because partners do not maintain any additional relationships outside of the group marriage.
Historical Perspective
Several communities and movements that promoted forms of nonmonogamy influenced the evolution of polyamory, including the practice of polygamy by members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in the early to mid-19th century. Over the past two centuries, several additional communities have practiced multipartner relationships, such as complex marriage in the Oneida Community, in which all members of the community were married and had (hetero)sexual access to each other. Additionally, the first wave of the sexual revolution in the early 20th century encouraged freedom from relational and familial hegemonic patriarchy, while the second sexual revolution of the 1960s and the feminist movement promoted sexual liberation and various forms of nonmonogamies.
In addition to political support, polyamory received attention in popular media and literature. Robert Heinlein's 1960s Stranger in a Strange Land and other literature that followed encouraged alternative forms of intimate relating that promotes various ideals of polyamorous living and challenges conventional ideals of monogamy. As the poly movement grew, publications continued that promoted the advantages of polyamory, further increasing its visibility. For example, Loving More magazine was founded to organize and support the poly community, and authors such as Deborah Anapol and Ryam Nearing have released several books that describe polyamorous values. In addition, several recent films portray poly struggles and realities, and a few were publicized on popular television channels such as the MTV documentaries Sex in the 90's: It's a Group Thing and True Life and TLC's Strange Sex.
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