Relationships: Sexual

Sex is a fundamental human need that serves many important purposes, both physical and psychological. When this need is strongly felt, some people will do just about anything in order to fulfill it, which may include telling lies or deceiving others in an attempt to get them into bed. People do not just lie in order to get sex, though—some people also deceive their partners during the sex [Page 812]act. For instance, people may to pretend to have an orgasm when they are ready for sex to end. In addition, people often lie about their sexual experiences after the fact. In some situations, under-reporting one's sexual history can yield benefits (e.g., protecting one's reputation), whereas in other cases, exaggerating or boasting about one's sexual experiences gives way to personal gain (popularity or fame). From beginning to end, lying and deception thus permeate many sexual relationships, and this has a number of important health and social consequences.

Decades of psychological research have demonstrated that people are often less than forthright when pursuing sexual partners. In order for someone to be sexually attractive, he or she needs to create a desirable impression. However, total and complete honesty will not always enhance sex appeal; sometimes, honesty can actually have the opposite effect. Deception is an easy way to enhance one's perceived desirability, and it is often successful. Consequently, deception is incredibly tempting in the seduction process, and is frequently employed, with studies indicating that one in four to one in five people admit having intentionally lied to another person at least once in order to have sex.

Some forms of sexual deception appear to be socially accepted, such as making minor alterations to one's physical appearance. This includes the use of makeup and hair dye, certain cosmetic procedures (such as breast implants), as well as specialty bras and underwear that enhance the appearance of one's bodily assets. However, there is a risk in modifying one's appearance too far (to the point where the deception becomes obvious), in which case there may be social penalties. Enhancing one's desirability by deceiving others about one's personal characteristics (such as lying about one's income, occupation, or achievements) or relationship history (hiding one's marital status and children), or by making false proclamations of love also happens with some frequency; however, these are less socially acceptable forms of deception.

Another way that people may attempt to enhance their perceived sexual desirability is by selectively revealing their sexual histories. For instance, when exchanging histories with a prospective romantic partner, people often report that they are less experienced than they really are. Most commonly, this involves under-reporting one's previous number of sexual partners. Under-reporting sexual experience can reduce a partner's anxiety by creating fewer concerns about sexually transmitted infections (STIs); however, it can also enhance attractiveness in cultures where virginity is prized. Some women have taken this one step further by having their hymens surgically restored, with the goal of convincing their partner of their virginity. Many people view the presence of a hymen (a thin piece of tissue covering the vaginal opening) as proof of virginity; however, the presence or absence of a hymen is not necessarily a reliable predictor of virginity because activities other than sex (such as exercise) can cause the hymen to break.

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