Distrust

Distrust in Childhood

Distrust can begin early in life, in some cases soon after birth. When an infant's needs are not [Page 303]consistently met on a regular basis, the child begins to doubt whether or not the adults in his or her life can be trusted. When caregivers are insensitive and unresponsive, children become distrustful of their caregivers and are unable to rely on them. In the face of insensitive caregiving, infants respond by either avoiding or clinging to caregivers. These unhealthy attachment behaviors can carry over into adulthood and permeate not only family relationships but also friendships and romantic and work relationships. Distrust that stems from early childhood experiences can also spill over into an adult's parenting practices. For example, in a type of self-fulfilling prophecy, a mother's profound distrust was related to more hostile, intrusive, and negative behaviors toward the infant. These behaviors can cycle through the infant's experience, resulting in distrusting or avoidant tendencies in the child.

Distrust in Intimate Relationships

In close, intimate relationships, distrust is particularly divisive. The distrusting partner not only maintains constant vigilance over their partner's actions, but also any attempt by the offender to make legitimate reparation for the violation of trust will be perceived through a lens of suspicion and skepticism. This can be readily seen in the behavior of people with a fearful attachment style, who describe themselves as uncomfortable getting close to, trusting, or depending on others for fear of being hurt if they become too close. Individuals who are distrustful by nature experience higher levels of intimacy avoidance and often greater feelings of anxiety about being abandoned, resulting in them being less likely to engage in close relationships or to have relationships in which they do engage succeed.

While distrust can be damaging at an interpersonal level, there are functional aspects of distrust that cannot be discounted. For adults and children alike, distrust can prevent them from being blind to the failings of others or failing to perceive cues that point to others' untrustworthiness. A moderate amount of distrust also allows individuals to create boundaries with others, knowing when to trust and when to exercise caution, allowing for the possibility of building higher and deeper levels of trust or confirming that another person is not worthy of trust.

Regardless of whether or not distrust is examined from the perspective of children or adults, researchers agree that by and large distrust (and associated unhealthy attachment styles) is learned from individuals' experiences with others. This is good news, in the sense that it suggests that more positive, supportive, truthful experiences with others may be able to shape a distrustful person's perceptions of the world in more positive, hopeful, trusting directions.

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