Courtship, Deception in

Lies During Initial Courtship

When embarking on a new courtship, it would be difficult to overstate the importance of first impressions. Research suggests that people make their first impressions of others in less than three seconds after meeting them. Ensuring that they are putting their best foot forward becomes imperative in order to attract and engage with high-quality potential partners. From an evolutionary perspective, competition for quality mates is challenging, particularly for women who bear the brunt of the responsibility for having and raising offspring. For this reason, women are more likely than men to exaggerate, downplay, or out-and-out lie about who they are.

Evolutionary theorists propose that men are attracted to women because of their desire to father as many healthy offspring as possible, and for this reason they are attracted to younger, healthier-appearing women. Thus, women are motivated to lie about their age (generally saying they are younger than they actually are), or are particularly careful with their physical appearance in the hope of appearing younger and healthier. In addition, women have been found to downplay or hide any major diseases or illnesses that they have experienced or are experiencing in order to avoid questions concerning their ability not only to procreate, but also to birth healthy babies. From the same evolutionary perspective, women are thought to be focused on finding a mate who will not only be able to father offspring, but will also be able to financially support and physically protect those children that come from their union. In this way, men are motivated to overestimate their earnings, the importance of their job, their physical prowess, and level of maturity.

While some may suggest that these theories are more appropriately applied to times past, research on deception in online dating sites bears out these claims. Men who use online dating sites are more likely to exaggerate their income, education level, age, and desire for a long-term committed relationship. In their online ads, men are also likely to enhance their physical appearance, claiming to be taller, more muscular, and having more hair than in reality. Women, on the other hand, tend to downplay their income, education, age, and desire for a long-term relationship. Their ads also enhance their physical appearance in ways that map onto evolutionary theory, claiming to be larger-breasted, thinner, and with long hair (implying youth).

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