Conflict

Conflict is a disagreement between two or more interdependent parties about goals and/or methods for achieving goals. Although some scholars use the term conflict to refer to an internal tension or confusion (for example, a mother has ‘role conflict’ when she is torn between competing demands on her time and attention due to her role as a parent and as a working professional), conflict is a social phenomenon concerning disagreements between parties.

A party to a conflict can be a person, a group, an organization, a state, or a nation. Often, conflicts are between two parties who are individuals. But conflict can involve many parties. The more parties to a conflict, the more difficult it is to manage the conflict process and to come to a decision or settlement that is acceptable to all parties.

All parties to a conflict are interdependent; they depend on each other for some action or resource necessary to manage or resolve the conflict. The more one party is needed by the other parties, the more power and influence that party has to define the conflict, determine when and how the conflict is managed, and influence the final outcome or solution for the conflict.

What types of disagreements lead to conflict? conflicts may be caused by disagreements over scarce resources and how they should be distributed. Scarce resources may be economic, such as money, equipment, and capital; or they can be relational resources, such as status, respect, information, and time. Sometimes, conflicts are disagreements about perceptions that one party is exercising unwanted control over other parties. Conflicts are often disagreements about goals—questions about what should be accomplished and why. Even if parties agree on goals or desired outcomes, they may disagree on the best methods to achieve the outcomes. For example, office managers may agree that they need to upgrade their computer systems, but they disagree about which computer system is the best for their organization.

Conflict can be functional or dysfunctional depending on how the conflict is managed. In functional conflicts, parties are satisfied with both the process used to manage the conflict and the resolution to the conflict. Learning functional conflict management is important for social development and relational development. From early childhood, people learn how to be in peaceful relationships by understanding how to manage conflicts constructively. Many developmental psychologists identify learning to manage conflict constructively as an important skill, and perhaps the most important social skill, of childhood. Educators who work to develop children's emotional intelligence and emotional competence also see constructive conflict management as a key skill for the emotionally competent person. When a conflict is functional, the parties are open and willing to honestly share information, there is a sense of calm and respect, parties are cooperating to try to solve the problem together, and they are flexible in looking at options for solutions.

Dysfunctional conflict happens when a party is dissatisfied with the process or outcome of the conflict. For example, one party may be upset that the other party is unwilling to go to a third party (forexample, amediator) for help with the conflict, or feels the solution to the conflict is unfair. When conflicts become dysfunctional, they escalate in terms of increasingly negative behaviors. Dysfunctional conflicts are characterized by distrust, unwillingness to share information openly and honestly, tension, and the adoption of an ‘us versus them’ attitude that leads to competitive and aggressive behavior. Dysfunctional conflicts often lose focus, and the parties start arguing about issues other than those that initially triggered the conflict. Consider a husband and wife who begin arguing about money and are suddenly arguing about in-laws, parenting, and household chores as well. When conflict becomes dysfunctional, it affects future conflicts. If a person feels he or she was treated unfairly, the person is likely to be defensive and aggressive in the next conflict with the same party.

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