Shame and Guilt

The Difference between Shame and Guilt

Scientists and laypersons alike often use the terms shame and guilt interchangeably. It is common for psychologists to refer to “feelings of shame and guilt” without making any distinction between the two emotions. In everyday conversation, people typically tend to avoid the term shame, referring instead to guilt, when they mean shame, guilt, or some combination of the two. But there is now a good deal of research showing that these are distinct emotions with very different implications for subsequent moral and interpersonal behavior.

In brief, shame and guilt are both negative, selfrelevant emotions that occur in response to failures or transgressions—but the focus of these emotions differs. Feelings of shame involve a negative evaluation of the global self (“‘I' did that horrible thing”); feelings of guilt involve a negative evaluation of a specific behavior (“I ‘did'that horrible ‘thing'”). Although subtle, this differential emphasis on self versus behavior sets the stage for different motivations and behavior.

The painful feeling of shame—the humiliating sense that “‘I' am a bad person”—is typically accompanied by a sense of shrinking, of “being small,” and by a sense of worthlessness and powerlessness. Shamed people also feel exposed. Shame doesn't necessarily involve an actual observing audience, present to witness one's shortcomings. (In fact, contrary to midtwentieth century anthropological theory, shame and guilt don't differ in the degree of actual public exposure.) But because of the self-focus inherent in the shame experience, shamed people often worry about how they appear to others. Not surprisingly, shame often leads to a desire to escape or to hide—to sink into the floor and disappear.

Contrast this with feelings of guilt involving a focus on a specific behavior—the sense that “I ‘did' a ‘bad thing'” rather than “‘I' am a bad person.” Guilt is typically less painful and overwhelming than shame because the primary concern is a specific behavior, not the entire self. So guilt doesn't affect one's core identity. Instead, there's a sense of tension, remorse, and regret over the “bad thing done.” People feeling guilt often report a nagging focus or preoccupation with the transgression—thinking of it over and over, wishing they had behaved differently or could somehow undo the harm that was done. Rather than motivating an avoidance response, guilt motivates reparative behavior—confession, apology, attempts to fix the situation and undo the harm that was done.

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