Masculinity, Anger, and Violence

Masculinity

Masculinity plays a major role in the development of male identity. Unfortunately, males tend to receive conflicting messages about what it means to be a man. Men and boys are encouraged to be self-sufficient and independent, courageous and assertive, competitive and strong. At the same time, they are increasingly expected to be caring, kind, and empathic—skills generally equated with femininity, which many boys are never taught.

The last decades of the twentieth century saw considerable changes in gender roles, particularly for women. Historically, manhood was defined largely through the man's being the “breadwinner,” family protector, and good soldier. The ideal man was strong and largely silent. He kept his emotions in check and proved his worth on the job, in athletic competition, and on the field of battle. Beginning with World War II, all this began to change. Now, men are no longer responsible for providing the sole source of income, and women have themselves become very strong, self-sufficient, and financially independent. Joining “the brotherhood of men” once revolved around becoming “a warrior, protector of the tribe” (Raphael 1988: 97), but that warrior is increasingly expected to be a source of emotional, rather than financial, support for his family.

While society has increasingly asked men to be more emotional and caring, it continues to promote many of the traditional definitions of masculinity. Because masculinity continues to be equated with strength, a backlash of sorts has developed against the new call for a “softer” kind of man. Is it any wonder that men are confused when society tells them they that must be strong but not too strong, soft but not too soft, and never sufficiently defines the boundaries of strength and softness?

A major emphasis in the promotion of masculinity is risk-taking behavior. “Boys are encouraged to take risks very early in life,” with parents and other adults reinforcing this behavior as a normal part of “being male and masculine” (Canada 2000: 15). Correlated with risk-taking behavior is the promotion of competition and aggression. While a certain level of aggressiveness and destructiveness may be a normal part of boyhood, how much is too much? On the one hand, society encourages male aggressiveness, but on the other, it condemns it when it is deemed inappropriate. The appropriateness or inappropriateness of aggression is itself never clearly defined and often appears completely arbitrary. It is no wonder then that many people are confused about what level of aggressiveness is acceptable.

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